Paul and I had a fabulous weekend in San Francisco. It started Friday afternoon around 3 when I got home from work and Paul already had the car  packed, including our bikes on the rack on the back of the car. He left my suitcase, opened on our bed, waiting for me to toss in the weekend’s essentials. I packed in about 10 minutes and we were outta there.

We drove up the coast and stopped in Pescadero at our usual pit stop, Arcangeli’s Market, where we purchased a bottle of local wine, artisanal goat cheese and Arcangeli’s signature artichoke bread. It was still warm. This is something we have been doing since we first met and the ritual of the routine always gives me a sense of comfort. I’m brimming with love for this man. He’s sooo romantic.

We arrived at South Beach Harbor at about 6, opened up the boat, noshed on our goodies and took a moonlit bike ride up the Embarcadero along the waterfront to the Ferry Plaza Building. It was so peaceful and relaxing. Paul and I love  boating, sailing, harbors, seaports and anything to do with water. We were in our element.

It was Fleet Week in San Francisco and the waterfront was loaded with sailors, in their pegged legged pants and white cupped caps. Paul couldn’t help but feel supreme pride in his son, Sam, who is currently in Naval basic training. I’m sure he imagined seeing him in uniform. I couldn’t help but feel that Paul’s nautical influence has rubbed off on his son, who was a seasoned sailor at a very young age.

The Blue Angels were in town so we biked over to North Beach to watch the show, which also included appearances by the Royal Canadian Snow Birds and the Stealth Bomber. The rest of the weekend was taken up with dinner with friends, lunch at  Ferry Plaza Seafood and quiet, romantic evenings alone. As I mentioned before, we are not going to have any trouble adjusting to an empty nest.

Last week, on the first official day of summer vacation I promised the girls I would take them to the mall in San Jose (a 40 minute drive from our house and a big event) and Eva was lurking around in the kitchen, leaning up against the wall wearing a long face. She had been this way pretty much all morning. So I asked her, (with my late mother channeling through me) “Are you going to mope all day?” She responded, sulkily, “What do you call moping?”

Well now there’s a question. So I wondered, “How exactly does one define the term, “moping.” So I looked it up and here’s what I found. The definition of moping is, “taking up time and space by wearing a bored, blank stare that annoys your mother and makes her crazy.”

OK. I made that one up. Here’s dictionary.com’s defintion. Let’s see how close I am.

verb, moped, mop·ing, noun

1.to be sunk in dejection or listless apathy; sulk; brood.

So I wasn’t that far off except there was no mention of the causes or reasons for said moping. School is out. Summer is here. I’m taking you shopping. You are going to Spain for a month. What is wrong with you?

It is a conundrum every parent of teens faces. Why are our children unhappy when they have everything in the world to be exctited and grateful for? Who knows?

Eva perked up later and I never did get to the bottom of her brooding. Perhaps it was anxiety leading up to her pending separation. I’ll never know. And you know what? Sometimes it’s best that way because the opposite is the child who tells you everything (while whining). I have one of those too.

It really warms my heart to see the genuine love and affection between my two girls, Sophia and Eva, and Paul’s daughter, Cheryl. There is definitely a very strong bond between them. For instance, last week I took all three girls to the drug store (stay tuned for my next post on condom buying research for health class) and while I was immersed in what I was shopping for, I looked over and saw Cheryl put her arms around Sophia. She needed a hug and Sophia complied and there they stood in Walgreens, embracing. It struck me as very dear. But the next story is even more special.

As I have mentioned previously, Sophia is going off to college in Portland, OR this fall and her dad, my ex, Jared, is planning to drive her and Eva up the coast on a road trip. (I will fly up separately.) He’s talking about renting a car one-way and possibly taking the train home. It should be a wonderful end of the summer trip and a great send off for Sophia. Both girls are lobblying their dad to take Cheryl too. As Sophia opined to me, “Cheryl really, really wants to come.”

After Sophia’s birthday party dinner Jared, Sophia, Eva and I were alone and talked about the planned trip. Both Sophia and Eva piped in, “Dad, can we pleeease bring Cheryl with us???”  I assured both girls that we would fine a way to make sure that Cheryl would be able to join them. The next day when I spoke to Jared on the phone he said he would be happy to include Cheryl in his plans. What a great dad!!! What a great guy!!! And what great sisters three girls are!!! The trip is going to be so much fun and something great to look forward to all summer.

Last Tuesday was Awards Night at Santa Cruz High. It is a time of celebration and commendation for the hard work and achievements of the senior class who is graduating in a few weeks and heading off to college in the fall. It is also when they award the scholarships. I beamed with pride as Sophia leaped onto the stage to receive hers from the Italian heritage foundation (my Italian mother would be so proud) and I watched with amazement and collective pride at the unbelievable accomplishments of my daughter’s classmates.

There was the recipient of the National Merit Scholarship, a young man who earlier in the year won the international (that’s right, #1 in the whole world) science fair for developing a new method for detecting breast cancer. And the math whiz/track star who got accepted to MIT, but decided to go to Brown instead.

I think the student who made the biggest and lasting impression, was the young man who was awarded several music scholarships. I had never met him, but I got a favorable feel-good vibe every time he bounded up on stage in his retro thin lapel-ed suit and orange high top sneakers to accept his awards. The music teacher, by way of introduction, described him as a passionate lover of music who played several musical instruments and performed in both the school band and orchestra.

Later, over French fries and cokes at the Santa Cruz Diner, when I remarked to Sophia about this young man’s obvious talents, she elaborated, “That’s not all, Mom. He was  also the star of the high school musical. Two weeks ago, on opening night, his mother, after a  10 year battle with breast cancer, died at 2:30 in the morning. And he still went on that night to perform.”

Wow. I still get chills went I think about him. And his mom. What she’s missing, and what a remarkable young man she raised. She would be so proud.

A few nights ago we were  sitting outside enjoying an outdoor fire when the conversation turned to camping. Cheryl has been dogging her father for years to take her on a backpacking trip where the two of them hike into the woods, pitch a tent and fish for dinner. Apparently this is something Eva has longed to do as well, so the two of them cornered Paul and made him promise to take them. They also made me promise that I would not go since they know I don’t enjoy camping and would whine and complain the whole time and they are right about that.

Once it was agreed and a date was set for a weekend in July, Cheryl and Eva got busy planning their trip. They pulled out all of our camping books to decide on a destination and made notes and lists in a designated “camping notebook”. The supplies included two tents: one for them and one for Paul, just in case he snores (or eats too many beans, if you know what I mean.)  It was a joy to watch their excitement. And a delight for me to know that my daughter Eva would beg her stepfather to take her somewhere and feel comfortable and safe with him.

Later I told Paul, “These girls are so excited you’d think you had given them the moon. You’ve given them something to live for.”

Paul and I attended the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk Clam Chowder Cook off today as tasters. It brought back a lot of memories for me because on this date six years ago, I entered as a contestant and won first prize. I remember the day very clearly. It  was February 26, 2005 and I had started off that year declaring it the “year of me.”  I had decided that I was going to venture out and do things I had never done before, things as a single mom I was basically doing alone. Like driving through the snow (which terrifies me) to take my girls skiing. And entering cooking contests just for the fun of it. All with the unspoken hope  that maybe I would meet someone.

The whole experience was extremely gratifying to me as I was flabbergasted by the overwhelming response to my chowder. My sister Jill worked the booth with me and gave me reports that the line at my booth was the longest, about 200 people deep. Amazing. When it was announced that I was the winner of the individual Manhattan Chowder I was both stunned and thrilled.

Tired and aching at the end of the day, I packed up my stove, table and tent and headed home. Alone. I was very satisfied with myself and yet something was missing. A month later I met Paul and I made him my chowder. He loved it. He was what was missing.

Here’s the winning recipe followed by some photos of my favorite booths today at the cook off.

Hot and Spicy Habanero Manhattan Clam Chowder

• ¼ to 1/3 cup (depending on taste) of Coeur D’Olives Habanero Infused Oil
• 1 onion chopped
• 2 celery stalks, chopped
• 3 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 bay leaf
• ½ tsp or 2 tsp fresh thyme, crumbled
• 8 ounces of clam juice or seafood stock
• 2 14-16 oz cans chopped stewed tomatoes
• 8 ounces tomato sauce
• 1 large russet potato or 3 small new potatoes (I used purple.) peeled and chopped
• 1 4 oz can diced green chilies
• 2 6 ½ can chopped clams

In a large pot, over medium heat, heat the habanero oil and sauté onions, garlic, celery, bay leaf and thyme. Cook until onions wilted, about 7 minutes. Add clam juice or stock, stewed tomatoes, tomato sauce, chilies and clams with their juice and bring to a gentle boil. Add potatoes and let simmer for about 45 minutes or until the potatoes are tender. Serve with crusty bread and a dark ale. Watch sea themed movies like Beaches and Jaws.

Recently I had coffee with a friend of mine, Sara,  and I asked her to review some marketing material I has written for a new business I am forming. It is copy for the back of greeting cards I am creating for my seaweed art pressings. Sara is a business owner herself, and a very smart, creative person, whom I have often relied upon for advice and guidance, both personally and professionally. She’s the kind of person who always strives for the best. She is in many ways, an advanced achiever. I admire and respect her judgement and am grateful to have her as a friend. The copy in question was something I had been muling over for weeks. Paul, another person with high standards, had edited it too and thought it looked great. My dear friend, however, offered some more suggestions, a few tweaks here and there, and what we came up with I think is fantastic!

I couldn’t help but feel lucky to have Sara in my life. This was not the first time she has come to my “creative” aid. When I married Paul, she came to my house a few days before the wedding to see what she could do to help. I had wanted to decorate the baskets the flower girls were going to carry and my effort would have consisted of attaching some bows and leaving it at that. Sara took over, adorning the baskets with color coordinated ribbons and dried flowers. Her version was so much better than anything I could have come up with. I still have the baskets, which are displayed prominently on a shelf in my art studio.

Having friends like Sara are the best kind, because they elevate you to achieve more and inspire you to do your best. They raise the bar. Read the rest of this entry »

Cheryl and I had a stepmother/stepdaughter lunch yesterday. I had been promising her for weeks to take her to lunch and shopping as a belated  birthday present. She turned 13 in November and with my graduation, the holidays and her soccer schedule, we just didn’t get around to it. We went to a fantastic barbecue restaurant called SmoQe, which we had been wanting to go to for some time. Cheryl loves anything barbecue and the pulled pork sandwich she ordered yesterday was, in her words, “The best sandwich I have eaten in a long time.”  I had a bbq chicken, bacon and apple pizza and for desert, we toasted marshmallows to make s’mores at our table.

The food was great, but the best part was the conversation. Read the rest of this entry »

Paul is away on business and just left me a text that he pulling out of the gate and on his way home. This is his third trip this month. Even though we stay in close contact, talking and texting several times a day, I still really miss him. Don’t get me wrong, we have a ball when he’s gone. We order take out and watch chick flick movies in bed. It is nice to have some separation every once in while, especially since we both work from home and are together a lot. Still, we’re pretty attached to each other and living proof of the old adage: absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Today is our anniversary. But not really. We actually officially got married on April 25th, that is legally. We eloped. But today marks the 4th anniversary of our public family blending ceremony and we are alone. We’re going out to dinner. I can’t believe it has been four years already. In some ways it feels like 14 years. We’ve accomplished a lot except the house is still not finished!!&(*#$@@$!!!  I have slowly come to realize that it never will. I guess life is just one long work in progress.