I mentioned last week that we were headed to Southern California for the three day Labor Day weekend. We took the kids out of school early and headed down south on what was probably  our 8th or 9th road trip as a family. We stayed with our friends who have a beautiful brand new home in Pacific Palisades, complete with a pool, a tropical garden and an enclosed patio decked out with a  wood burning barbecue and pizza oven. It was so relaxing. What made it more special is that the kids have gotten into a traveling groove and a routine. We’ve established our new family traditions. We always stop along the way to buy sunflower seeds, drinks, Skittles, Peppermint Patties and gum. The kids either play their IPods, invent car games or sleep on each other’s shoulders. They are at the age where there is very little whining and impatience. (Thank god. There’s a light at the end of the child-rearing tunnel and it’s not the train.)

Most of the time we relaxed in the pool and ate homemade pizza. Paul fulfilled his need to jump from high places by jumping off the roof of the house into the pool. (Another tradition). One day we went to the Malibu Beach  and Paul took the kids surfing. (No Mathew McConaughey sightings unfortunately.) Another day we went to Hollywood, saw the Hollywood sign, walked down the Walk Of Fame and visited Grauman’s Chinese theatre. Much to Mark’s supreme pleasure, we  drove down Sunset Boulevard  and passed the The Whiskey A Go Go, The Rainbow Bar and Grill and The Roxy. The kids got to experience all the things they’ve read about or heard about in songs and always wanted to see.

On the way home, Paul let Sophia drive on the freeway at 70 MILES AN HOUR! She doesn’t have her license yet, just her permit and I was white knuckle the whole time sitting in the back seat while Paul sat in the passenger seat calmly checking his email on his Blackberry. He taught her how to use the cruise control and to pass cars. She was delighted and quite proud of herself. It was another opportunity for them to bond.

We arrived home rested and relaxed (except for me who was still freaked out about the teen driving)  and ready to tackle the new school year.

Even though the kids have already started back to school, we still feel like Labor Day weekend is the final hurrah to summer. We are celebrating by taking the kids to L.A. to stay at our really cool pad down there. We plan to go to the beach and walk on the Santa Monica Pier. (If we’re lucky maybe we’ll run into Mathew McConaughey body surfing.) This trip will be a welcome change of pace and a brief respite from our busy, stressful and hectic lives. BUT HERE’S THE BIG NEWS: WE GOT INVITED TO STAY AT SOME ONE’S HOUSE. Yep, that’s right. All seven of us. This is a really big deal because aside from family, no one really invites us anywhere. (I can’t imagine why that is.) We are going to spend one night with one of our business clients who has become our friend. I’ll call him Tom and his wife, Kerry. They are lovely people. Very gregarious, generous and with a zest for life. Tom is a contractor and he  and his family just moved into a beautiful home that he built.  It is a big house with plenty of room for all of us. They have two young children whom our children have met before and they all really hit it off. This should be a lot of fun.

While I was away for two weeks  on my fab east coast trip, I missed Paul terribly. (Actually I only missed him a little bit, but in case he reads this I have to say I missed him achingly baaad.) Seriously, I did wish he could be with us to share in all the fun and great experiences we were having. Everywhere we went I thought of him and since I couldn’t always call him I would send him photos with text messages from my phone. I sent all kinds of things, sights we were seeing (the photo here is of the armor exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Modern Art), the kids sleeping in the airport lounge and pictures of family we were visiting. Paul told me this really helped him stay connected with us and in some way be a part of our trip.

The advent of the cell phone has done a lot for the communication in a blended family. I don’t know how we ever lived without it. On the weeks that our kids are at their other parents’ houses, they are constantly texting each other and sending photos so they can stay in touch. One day when Sophia was here at our house she observed Paul’s kids’ cats sleeping with their paws wrapped around each other. She thought it was really cute so she took a photo with her phone and sent it to them. They really appreciated that. That was Sophia’s way of saying, “I’m thinking of you and I don’t want you to miss this.”

On the last night of our trip fantastic, after a day spent at The Ocean City water park (and no, I did not pee in the pool) we had a feast of corn on the cob, grilled vegetables and the star attraction– hard shelled crabs. Maryland blue claw crabs are to the mid-Atlantic states what wild salmon is to Alaska and grits are to the South. They can be flown in, but there is nothing quite like stopping by a road side fish stand and picking them out of a bushel while they are still alive and kicking. The next best thing is catching them yourself which we often did on our summer camping trips on the east coast.

As with everything else on this trip, I wanted to share this experience with my children and I have to say they did not recoil in disgust as I feared they might.  First I taught them how to hold a live crab so that it would not bite them. (I consider this one of my special talents and part of my charm.) Then my brother-in-law, who did the cooking, showed them how to steam them in a large pot filled with some water, beer and Old Bay seasoning. The sauce was later poured over pasta and enjoyed along with the crabs. The final lesson was showing them how to break open the crabs to get the meat out. This they found to be a fun, albeit, messy challenge. And they loved the crabs. It was a perfect sendoff to a perfect trip.

We are now spending the final part of our trip with my sister Pam at her lovely home in Vineland, New Jersey. She and her husband John live in the middle of a farm surrounded by acres and acres of beautiful fields planted with lettuce, cilantro, corn, cabbage and beefsteak tomatoes; the latter of which New Jersey is famous for. We arrived last Saturday night . Sunday it rained and we sat on her wraparound porch and watched the lighting streak across the sky and listened to the thunder rumble. We get very few thunder and lighting storms in California so this was a novel experience for the kids.

Monday we drove thirty miles south to go to the beach in Ocean City, New Jersey. When we were kids we used to take day trips from our home in suburban Philadelphia to the beach. My parents would pile all five of us kids and a cooler full of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches into the paneled station wagon (which my father had embarrassingly decorated with flower power stickers) for the 90 minute drive to “the shore”, which my sister Pam referred to as “Ocean Ditty New Dirty.” We spent the whole day in the sun by the water’s edge building sand castles, collecting sea shells and searching for sand crabs. The water was usually refreshingly crisp and we  could body surf for hours. The highlight of the day was when the Good Humor man would come by with a cooler slung over his shoulder calling out in a very distinctive drawn out voice of a game show announcer, ” Ice… cream… sandwiches….creamsicles…. water ice….fudgie…….wudgies….”

These are the things I wanted to share with my children and they enjoyed them as much as I did, even though they were reluctant to let on because as you know they are teenagers and find everything I say and do embarrassing. OK, so maybe they are a little old to get excited about sand crabs. Still… my memories are now their memories too.

The fourth leg of our trip was spent in Central New Jersey in a town called Middlesex which is where Jared, my ex-husband’s father, Tony lives. My late mother-in-law, whom I adored, passed away about four years ago. She was a lovely woman and a doting grandma. This was my first trip to their house in seven years, which was right around the time Jared and I separated. I had seen both of my in-laws five years ago when they came to my mother’s funeral, but I did not visit their house and it has been years since I had seen Jared’s siblings. My girls were really anxious to see their grandpa so I called him a few months ago when I was planning this trip to see if we could spend a few days with him. I told him I was also bringing my stepchildren with me and he was very receptive to meeting them. He assured me he had plenty of room for all of us.

I really lucked out in the in-law department. They always treated me like a daughter and when Jared and I divorced, my mother-in-law told me, “You’re still one  of us. ” I miss my mother-in-law terribly. She died 10 months after my mother died and I was totally unprepared. She was only 72 and her death was unexpected. I wondered how I would feel walking into her house with her not there. I did not go to her funeral because she died in September just when the kids were starting school, and because of that I never felt like I had closure. Read the rest of this entry »

Ric’s friend Larry is one of the producers for Hair and was able to get us house seats. (Congrats to Larry for winning a Tony.) We sat sixth row center from the stage. The intimacy of the theatre combined with the  performers coming out into the audience made us feel like we were part of a big party. The show opens on a high energy note and remains at that level throughout the entire production. Ric had said the energy of the cast was amazing and he was right on. As audience members we did our part to participate. Aside from singing along, we also dressed the part by wearing tie dyed peace sign shirts and bell bottomed jeans.  I kept looking over at the kids to see their reactions and they were mesmerized, their gazes transfixed, mouths agape, in wonder.  The finale of the first act was the famous disrobing scene and by that I mean full frontal nudity. Aside from Eva, who covered her face, the others just stared blankly like they were in shock. How does one top that? The curtain call. After the cast took their bows, they invited the audience to come up on stage and dance with them. All three girls, Sophia, Eva and Cheryl and my sister Pam went up. The cast gave them big hugs while they all swayed and gyrated to the music. What an amazing experience. I later told them, “You can now say that you have danced on a Broadway stage.”

We waited at the stage door again after the show and the cast came out to sign autographs. They were all very gracious and generous with their time, patiently signing each child’s playbill and posing for pictures. Very sweet.

We were so keyed up after the excitement of our day we didn’t want to go back to the hotel room. Instead we walked through Times Square and stopped at Juniors to have egg creams and New York style cheesecake. What a blast.

After our lunch at Phebe’s we went to see our first Broadway show, Billy Elliot, which was nothing short of spectacular! I’ve seen a lot of shows over the years and this one  definitely topped the list as one the all time best shows I’ve ever seen. It was jaw-dropping, breathtaking, sitting-on-the-edge-of-your-seat, show-stopping fantastic! To view a video clip click here.

Set against  the backdrop of a coal miner’s strike  during Margaret Thatcher’s England, it is the story of a young boy, Billy Elliot, who dreams of becoming a dancer. His mother  has died and his father and older brother are preoccupied with the political unrest of the strike. Billy takes dancing lessons in secret while his family thinks he is at boxing practice. His teacher recognizes his talent and suggests he audition for the Royal Academy of Ballet in London. The whole community finally comes together to help Billy realize his dream. If  you do not have the opportunity to see the show, rent the movie.

We exited the theatre next to the stage door and  waited  to see if we could get a glimpse of the cast. The girls were thrilled when the child star came out to sign autographs. The young boy who starred as Billy Elliot was adorable and posed for a picture with them. Someone asked him, “Have you always wanted to star on Broadway?” He responded, “Yes, I just never thought it would be this soon.” Definitely a true New York experience. The calibre of talent on Broadway never ceases to amaze me.

After the show we met my friend Ric and my sister Pam at Carmine’s for dinner. Pam drove up from New Jersey to spend the evening with us and to see Hair, our second show of the day.

Carmine’s is a New York institution. It is family style Italian cuisine in the theatre district. The dining room was packed with a boisterous crowd of theatre goers talking about the show they just came from or the one they were going to. It is impossible to not get caught up in the excitement in the room. Ric regaled us with  stories of all the happenings on Broadway including the inside scoop on the next show we were about to see– Hair. He told us the drummer for the production was also the drummer for the original production. He gave us some highlights for what we were about to see. In spite of his advance reviews, nothing prepared us for what was to come.

The third leg of our trip was spent in New York City, a town that almost feels like home to me since I used to live there. I don’t know how to begin to tell you just how spectacular a time we had. Broadway, Times Square, Fifth Avenue, SoHo, Little Italy, Chinatown and, of course, Phebe’s.

We had a  rough start getting there. Our flight was delayed three hours because of “mechanical difficulties” so we had to switch airlines. Then we piled like sardines into a cab to the hotel which turned out to be the worst dive I have ever seen. Two small rooms and a bathroom for seven people.(My sister-in-law Joan and my sister Pam were joining us.) Once we all got over the initial horror of our lodging conditions, we set out to see the sights. (The kids are real troopers and I was very proud of them. All that camping had prepared them for cramped quarters.)

Our first night we headed downtown to SoHo to meet my friend Ric at Lombardi’s, the oldest pizza parlor in the Western Hemisphere. It dates back to 1905 and still bakes pizzas in their original ovens. Ric and I have known each other for over 25 years. I met him when I first moved to New York in 1984. Not only is he a fabulous  actor and tenor who has starred on Broadway, he is also a great tour guide and a wonderful,caring friend who has always looked out for me. I called him in advance of our trip and he offered suggestions for what to see and made reservations. What a gem. It was his idea to go to Lombardi’s. We walked through the kitchen to see the ovens. Super fun and great pizza too. Afterward we crossed the street to eat rice pudding at a whimsical, hip restaurant called Rice to Riches. There were signs on the door forbidding “skinny bitches” from entering. Our favorite flavor– “Sex, drugs and rocky road.” Only in New York.

The next day we toured midtown to see Herald Square, the Empire State Building, Penn Plaza and Macy’s and I pointed out all the buildings I used to work in. The kids could not have cared less. My teary-eyed trip down memory lane was nothing but an embarrassment to them, but I didn’t care. This part of the trip was all about me. We went to  Phebe’s, the restaurant where I worked  as a waitress when I first  moved to Manhattan. To read about how I survived a crazy Chinese cook  hurling plates at me click here.

The place  looked pretty much the same. It was cleaned up a bit, the hardwood floors had been refinished, the juke box was replaced with a sound system and a flat screen TV hung over the bar. It was still a hang out for the Off-Broadway theatre crowd, the Hell’s Angel’s headquarters was still around the corner and the S & M club still comes in occassionally. It was no longer a Yankee bar, but oddly, now a Red Sox bar instead.  We had lunch and I told the waitress I worked there 25 years ago. She made a big fuss and took  me back to the kitchen and gave me a Phebe’s T-shirt. She made me feel special and earned her $20 tip.

Afterward we walked around the corner to my first New York apartment. I explained to the kids that it was a hovel roughly the size of our hotel room and cost $500 a month, then. I shared it with a roommate and we slept in shifts because she worked days and I worked nights. Those were the days. I feel I must impart this knowledge onto them since some of them have expressed an interest in living in Manhattan.  I know if they decide to move there I will  worry and want to talk them out of it, just as my mother did, and I know I can’t and shouldn’t. They must follow their own path.

These are the kinds of experiences you drag your kids to in spite of their protestations of boredom and tired feet,  knowing that someday they’ll thank you for it.

We are now visiting Paul’s sister Joan in Athens, Ohio. It is kind of ironic that she lives in Athens because her husband John is a professor of Greek literature at Ohio University.  They have two children, Nellie and Porter who are 18 and 14, right around my kids’ ages.

Joan and I are getting very close. We hit it off when we first met four years ago when she visited Santa Cruz for a wedding and a family reunion. We have seen each other about four our five times since then and have remained in contact either by phone or by email. The week before my wedding to Paul, Nellie stayed at my house and she and my girls really bonded. Now that we are visiting their house, Nellie and Porter are really enjoying showing my kids the sights.

Joan is a nature lover and environmentalist who is very much at home living here in a part of Appalachia among the breathtaking tree covered hills.  A few years ago she completed a  master’s degree in environmental studies and for her thesis she created a documentary on a local naturalist/conservationist, Ora Anderson, who is considered by many to be the Thoreau of the Appalachian woods. The film is titled, A Forest Returns: The Success Story of Ohio’s Only National Forest. Ora Anderson, 93, was a journalist living in southeastern Ohio during the Great Depression. He recalls the environmental and social conditions that led to the establishment of the Wayne National Forest and our revolving relationship with the land. To learn more and to order the DVD click here.

Ora passed away a few years ago, but his tree farm still stands and today we took a tour. We rode a gator (kind of like a super duper Jeep) around the property and that was a lot of fun. Mark and Porter both got to drive. Later we went to Dow lake and the girls rented paddle boats and canoes. We saw a lot of different kinds of foliage, flora and fauna that we don’t see in California. Yesterday we took a tour of Ohio University where Nellie will attend in the fall as a dance major. It was inspiring for my kids to have an older cousin who is going off to college. They really look up to her.

Plans were made to send Mark to Ohio for spring break next year and Nellie and Porter to our house next summer, a week in advance of our family reunion. Paul’s family has a reunion every five to seven years and next year it will be in Santa Cruz. My children have never attended one, but they have been told how much fun they are. Tonight they looked through photo albums of past reunions and helped design a special, commemorative T-shirt. My girls, Sophia and Eva,  felt included.

Tomorrow, Joan, the kids and I are headed to NYC for two nights. We leave in the morning. Our Ohio portion of the trip was a huge success, with lots of fun family bonding and a lifetime of memories.