A few nights ago we were  sitting outside enjoying an outdoor fire when the conversation turned to camping. Cheryl has been dogging her father for years to take her on a backpacking trip where the two of them hike into the woods, pitch a tent and fish for dinner. Apparently this is something Eva has longed to do as well, so the two of them cornered Paul and made him promise to take them. They also made me promise that I would not go since they know I don’t enjoy camping and would whine and complain the whole time and they are right about that.

Once it was agreed and a date was set for a weekend in July, Cheryl and Eva got busy planning their trip. They pulled out all of our camping books to decide on a destination and made notes and lists in a designated “camping notebook”. The supplies included two tents: one for them and one for Paul, just in case he snores (or eats too many beans, if you know what I mean.)  It was a joy to watch their excitement. And a delight for me to know that my daughter Eva would beg her stepfather to take her somewhere and feel comfortable and safe with him.

Later I told Paul, “These girls are so excited you’d think you had given them the moon. You’ve given them something to live for.”

This past weekend, Sophia and I headed East to Philadelphia to visit Drexel University to determine if Sophia would attend there next fall. After traveling on three airplanes (BBQ in Austin, deep dish pizza in Chicago and a total travel time of 12 hours) we arrived late Friday evening, after a trip to WaWa, at my sister Nina’s house in Malvern, PA.

Saturday we did the usual mother/daughter shopping bonding and made the rounds of visiting our PA and NJ cousins, who each lobbied their case for Sophia to attend school on the East Coast.

Sunday was the big day. Read the rest of this entry »

Sophia and I are off for a four day weekend to Philadelphia to visit my oldest sister, Nina and to look at Drexel University, one of the schools Sophia has been accepted to. Last weekend she and her dad visited Lewis and Clark in Portland and Sophia reported that she liked it very much. Since Portland is on our coast, and since Lewis and Clark offered her a HUGE scholarship, we are all leaning toward that one. However, I want Sophia to make an informed decision, plus I need an excuse to see my sister and eat Philly cheese steaks and drink WAWA coffee. It should be a lot of fun. We are both looking forward to it. I’ll take some video and lots of photos and post them as we go.

The grueling college application process is finally coming to a close and I have to say from my perspective, and from Sophia’s, it was brutal, with emotions vacillating between the euphoric victories of acceptance and the crushing defeat of rejection. I keep telling Sophia that this is a pivotal point in her life, the first time when she will truly have to face life’s difficult decisions and the disappointments that often go with them. Finding out that you didn’t get into your “reach school,” as they say in college app parlance, is a lot harder to take than not getting that part in the class play. And it only gets worse.

When Sophia started applying to schools back in November, I couldn’t help but recall my own experiences 30 years ago. Back then, it was a lot easier to get into college with less kids applying (because in those days you could still get earn a decent living without a college degree) and a lot more financial aid to do so. I applied to two colleges and got accepted to both. The schools I chose were “safe” schools, ones I was assured that I could get into. Some of my more academic friends applied to Ivy League schools and got accepted and I always wondered if I would have been accepted too had I applied as well. It is a feeling that has haunted me for years. The regret that I didn’t even try. So when Sophia told me about some of the hard-to-get-into schools she wanted to apply to, I told her, “Go for it.” Why not? She had hope. And it is that drive to attain loftier goals that sustains us. Having the courage to face rejection is a noble trait and because of that, Sophia will go far in this world. I couldn’t be more proud of her.

Sophia got into three great schools that can all offer her an excellent education. She has narrowed her choice down to two, one in Portland and one in Philadelphia. Her dad is taking her to tour Lewis and Clark this weekend and I am taking her to my home town of Philly next weekend to visit Drexel University, and then she will decide. This is only the beginning. And she’s off to a great start.

I was out to lunch with a friend today and when I returned home, Sophia was sitting on her bed in front of her laptop with a dejected look on her face. Tears were welling up in her eyes and she looked up at me and cried, ” I just got rejected from the University of Chicago. ” My heart went out to her. She was so disappointed. The sting of rejection is hard to bear and all I could think was, “This is only the beginning.” Read the rest of this entry »

Last week I waxed nostalgic about packing up my daughter’s dolls and storing them in anticipation for her leaving in the fall to go away to college. When Sophia saw all of the boxes I had set out in the study filled with her naked dolls, she insisted that before we put them away, she had to dress them in their original outfits and brush all of their hair. Which she did. Meticulously. All weekend. Then she washed and folded all of their clothes and placed them neatly in the cartons. I watched her, wistfully, as she did this and believe you me, it brought back a flood of memories.

I can still envision her playing endlessly for hours on end when she was a little girl. At one time she had every American Girl doll that was made. The only reason she doesn’t have all of them now is because she simply stopped collecting them and others have since been produced. I think we must have been American Girl’s best customer. Sophia had everything. The beds, the armoires and all the outfits. Why so much indulgence you wonder? I ask myself the same thing. The answer is simple. My girls had a mother who loved dolls too. Except when I was a child, there were limits to what my parents could afford to give me. Although I did have Dancing Ballerina. Remember her? Did I overcompensate? You bet. Sophia justifies her rather large collection by rationalizing that she never played with anything else and that is true. She wasn’t a stuffed animal kid or one to play board games or computer or video games for that matter. The sheer joy of watching her play acting imagination run wild was motivation enough for me to continue to foster her passion. But I digress.

Seeing Sophia gingerly reminisce about every single doll, their names and the personalities she imbued upon them, made me realize that not only am I not ready to see them go,  she wasn’t either. I assured Sophia that we would keep the dolls safe for her daughters and that she could always come home to visit them. Sophia lamented, “What if I have some maniacal daughter who wants to scribble magic marker all over their faces?” I assured her it was genetic. If I loved dolls and she loved dolls, then her daughters would certainly love dolls too. My sisters all loved dolls. In fact, I don’t think my sister Pam has ever forgiven me for leaving her Chatty Kathy doll out it the rain. We all have memories, and hopefully they will remain in tact … and in our hearts forever.

One side note in closing. The photo to the left is of two dolls wearing outfits my mother made for them. The swimmer’s flip flops were hand crafted out of foam. Lovely. She loved dolls too.

Yesterday, while I was having lunch alone in a cafe, there were three men sitting at the table next to me. It was close quarters, so I couldn’t help but eavesdrop on their conversation. They were all young fathers with toddlers. One was expecting a second child soon and they all speculated how the older child, about 3, would adjust to having a younger sibling. The father announced proudly that he thought his son would adapt just fine. He announced, “He’s getting very independent. He’s almost potty trained.”

As a mother of five teenagers, I chuckled to myself. All of those early milestones… holding a cup, feeding yourself, taking your own bath and doing your own algebra homework are all significant and worth remarking. Now if only they could get a job, pay off their student loans and take care of us in our old age. Now that would be an accomplish worth  celebrating. Those three fathers have no idea. Ignorance is bliss, I suppose, otherwise no one would procreate. All I can say is, “Good luck to them.”

In the midst of all the college applications and financial aid forms, I’m getting quite sentimental that Sophia, my oldest daughter and first born child, will be heading off to college in the fall. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, “Where did the time go?” My mood of nostalgia was further ingrained a few weeks ago when I watched Toy Story 3, as Andy, Woody’s owner, packed up his toys to put in the attic while he too prepared to leave home. Any parent, Andy’s included, who has stood in my shoes knows exactly how I feel. It made me want to preserve Sophia’s childhood and I frantically wondered, “Whatever happened to Chou Chou Baby?”  Chou Chou was a doll that ate, drank, cooed, cried and wiggled its legs like a real baby. My girls each had one and they loved her. Her plus all the American Girl dolls and their accompanying paraphernalia Read the rest of this entry »

Recently I had coffee with a friend of mine, Sara,  and I asked her to review some marketing material I has written for a new business I am forming. It is copy for the back of greeting cards I am creating for my seaweed art pressings. Sara is a business owner herself, and a very smart, creative person, whom I have often relied upon for advice and guidance, both personally and professionally. She’s the kind of person who always strives for the best. She is in many ways, an advanced achiever. I admire and respect her judgement and am grateful to have her as a friend. The copy in question was something I had been muling over for weeks. Paul, another person with high standards, had edited it too and thought it looked great. My dear friend, however, offered some more suggestions, a few tweaks here and there, and what we came up with I think is fantastic!

I couldn’t help but feel lucky to have Sara in my life. This was not the first time she has come to my “creative” aid. When I married Paul, she came to my house a few days before the wedding to see what she could do to help. I had wanted to decorate the baskets the flower girls were going to carry and my effort would have consisted of attaching some bows and leaving it at that. Sara took over, adorning the baskets with color coordinated ribbons and dried flowers. Her version was so much better than anything I could have come up with. I still have the baskets, which are displayed prominently on a shelf in my art studio.

Having friends like Sara are the best kind, because they elevate you to achieve more and inspire you to do your best. They raise the bar. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s one am on a Saturday night, or should I say Sunday morning, and I am still awake waiting for my 17-year-old daughter, Sophia to come home. Read the rest of this entry »