If ever there were a poster child for getting your groove back it would have to be me. Let me explain.

Many, many moons ago, in my pre-soccer mom kid days, I was a mega star in the sales and marketing world. Every where I worked I was always at the top of my game, the top seller, the biggest producer, an up and coming media star. I often managed to get my name in the news, I was interviewed on TV and on NPR, my clothing line was featured on national talk shows and I was even mentioned on Page 6 of the New York Post. And then something happened. I got into a funk. I lost my courage and my confidence. I forgot who I was.

It all started when my daughter Eva was born 14 years ago and  I quit my job to stay home with my children. At least that is what I said I wanted.  I’m sure my ex-husband will remember things differently, that I made the choice of my own free will. But that is not how I saw it. As a mother of  an infant and a toddler married to a work-a-holic husband with no family support nearby, I really didn’t see that I had any other option. I just couldn’t see myself working all day and then coming home to care for young children while my then husband worked 80 hour weeks. I was tired of fighting him for help and attention so I just gave in. And then five years later, just when Eva was starting kindergarten, we got divorced. As a means to reignite my former self, I started a small business which was a modest success, but it could have been so much more. It was a struggle working on it alone as a single mother of small children so once again, I took the Mommy track and settled for less than what I knew I could produce. I laid low. I licked my wounds. I lost my groove.

But not anymore. Read the rest of this entry »

Paul and I are on a business trip in Reno, NV, a town that bills itself as the biggest little town …or… the smallest big town. I can’t remember. Something like that. Unlike their sister city, Las Vegas, also a gambling town, Reno has a more comfy, Wild West feel to it. (Note the Italian restaurant named Romanza. Is that a cross between romance and Bonanza??) It is closer to our home so we drove the five hour trip  past snow covered mountains through Truckee and Tahoe. We are here for a conference in which both Paul and I were guest speakers. More on that later. First I have to tell you about the hotel. If I were searching for words to describe it, ” tasteful” would not be one of them. However, this place is a riot and we are having a ball.

The casino, with its  tall ceiling, flashing neon lights and  popping sounds of slot machines can best be described as  walking through a life size pinball machine. That was the image that came to my mind. The Oceano Restaurant, complete with hanging jelly fish chandeliers has to be experienced in order to be fully appreciated.  The hotel room itself, however,  conjures an entirely different image. There is  a large Jacuzzi tub (for two)  in the center of the room with mirrors on the ceiling, naturally, and get this… there is a double strand of rope lighting  surrounding the perimeter of the ceiling that when lit up in the evening resembles an airport landing strip. Who designs these places I want to know? The trip was very successful but I am anxious to go home. Tomorrow is Mother’s Day and I miss my children.

One of the many swimming pools at Bellagio.

After my wonderful four days with the girls touring colleges, shopping and sightseeing  in San Luis Obispo and Santa Barbara, I headed home Tuesday night only to unpack and repack to head out to Las Vegas with Paul for a business conference. We stayed at the opulent, over-the- top hotel, Bellagio.

I had only been to Las Vegas once before, a year ago, which was also a work related trip. From a business perspective, the trips were both  huge successes. From a personal perspective, I have to say, Vegas is not my cup of tea. Or martini, or vodka tonic or whatever they drink in Sin City.

The town simply offends me on so many levels. I don’t know what bothers me the most, the manufactured ambiance, (fake oceans for instance), the cigar/cigarette smoke everywhere (Paul requested a non-smoking section in a restaurant and was informed there is no such thing.) the over-stimulating excess (re-touched posters of Cher) or the Frank Sinatra/Julio Iglesias/Celine Dion music blaring from the sound system.  Just in case you haven’t heard, Frank Sinatra was a member “the Rat Pack” and he and his buddies, Dean, Sammy and Joey, used to play a lot of gigs in Vegas. Lest we forget, his image and voice are everywhere. So are impersonators of Marilyn and Elvis. The best comparison I can make is to say  visiting this town is like sitting through a screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show … on steroids.

But I was never a party girl. I like dressing up for maybe an hour and then my feet hurt from the high heels and I want to kick them off, put on some sweats, crawl into a club chair and read a book. OK, so I’m boring. I missed my kids. We are already planning our next college tour.

Paul and I just arrived home from our trip to L.A. It was a long, dusty ride up Highway 5 so we are both happy to be home. This is a photo I took from the pool yesterday. After spending most of the day in the hotel room doing homework, I decided to take a dip. Isn’t this a lovely scene?

No kids this weekend. I just poured myself a glass of wine and am settling in to finish up some homework. This is my final week of my third class in graduate school so I am now a quarter of the way through. Did I mention that I am going to Full Sail University? Perhaps I should give them a plug here. I absolutely love it. Could not be happier. I am learning so much and my mind is just BURSTING with creativity. I wake up excited every morning and I just love the added boost it is giving my career. Paul is thrilled with my added and continued contribution to our business. Yeah.

Paul and I are on a business trip in L.A. It is the first time we have been away together for work since last June when we were actually in Beverly Hills the day Michael Jackson died. It is nice to get away again and we have several other trips planned in the coming weeks. One to VEGAS!!! and the other to Reno, NV. In Vegas we will be staying at The Bellagio and attending a business conference.

Our business model has changed considerably in the past few months and Paul and I are enjoying working together and planning our new marketing strategies. My current studies in Internet Marketing are helping immensely. Yesterday Paul presented a seminar and afterward I was in the mood for sushi. They have great sushi restaurants here in L.A. Instead we tried something different and very unusual to me: shabu shabu. It is so cool. You have to try it. You cook your own food in pots of boiling water at your table. I know. It sounds treacherous, but it’s not. The meat is sliced very thin and it only takes a few minutes to cook. You can add your own spices and garnishes and top with sauces like miso and soy. Boiling the water draws out the fat in the meat. Then it is served with vegetables and noodles. Very good and very satisfying.

These are photos Paul took of the walkway from our house to my studio, which is basically my commute to work. I couldn’t decide which one I liked better so I am posting both. Miraculously the path is cleared of clutter. Amazing.

Paul is traveling much less these days and spending more time working from his home office in his study which is furnished with a comfy couch next to a fireplace. I, too, work from home in my art studio, which is in the back of the house. When it rains, Paul lights a fire and I bring my laptop into his study and we work side by side next to the fire.  We both love this new arrangement because not only do we not have to go anywhere, we get to spend more time together. Yesterday was a fairly sunny day, about 65 degrees, so we decided to take a drive up the coast after lunch so that we could go to the dump. Yes, the dump. We had a lot of things to recycle and the Santa Cruz dump is probably the most beautiful dump you will ever see. It is in on a hill top in the middle of farmland with the most stunning, panoramic ocean view. Gorgeous. We recycled all our cardboard and old files and then headed back down the hill where I witnessed my first ever glimpse of a wild turkey crossing the road. Aahh. What a nice afternoon. Dump run, turkey sighting. I just love living in Santa Cruz.

Whew! Wow, what a month this has been. It flew by. I cannot believe it. I just finished my first course, Media Literacy, for my master’s degree in Internet Marketing and I ABSOLUTELY loved it. I think going back to school  was the best decision I ever made. I am learning so much my brain is bursting with creativity. I made my own website on iWeb, a movie about myself on iMovie, set up an iGoogle page and created an avatar in Second Life. The latter of which was way cool. If you have never been to Second Life I highly recommend it. It is virtual reality at its best.

The greatest part of all of this is that this whole experience has brought Paul and me even closer together. We talk endlessly all day (we work together, remember) and into the night about  how we can work what I am learning into our current and future business plans. I have to create a marketing plan for my master’s thesis on a company of my choice so I am doing mine on our business. Paul tells me he has never seen me so happy, energized and creative. I agree. Going back to school at 48 , with five children has been an amazing experience. Everyone chips in to help out and whatever doesn’t get done I am learning to ignore. My standards of cleanliness have gone lower than ever before but who cares? I am a vessel of knowledge now and nothing is going to stop me.

Paul and I had a much needed very romantic, relaxing and wonderful weekend. We had both been so stressed between working hard, managing the kids and ruminating over very important decisions  to make regarding our business. We’ve been on overdrive the past few months, usually working on Saturdays, running the kids around and maybe taking a few hours to ourselves on Sunday afternoon, which is not nearly enough time to completely unwind. This past weekend was much different.

On Friday afternoon Paul got a call from his friend Jack who lives in the South Beach section of San Francisco, right near the harbor and the AT&T stadium (formerly PacBell)  where the San Francisco Giants play. He invited us to come up and stay on his boat in the harbor and we impulsively jumped at the chance. We packed an overnight bag (it was a no kid weekend) and by 3PM we were on the road to San Francisco.

The weather was gorgeous. It was the perfect Indian summer evening by the bay. It was just the two of us sitting alone sipping wine on the deck of the boat. We could both feel all of our troubles and worries melting away. We walked around the harbor for a bit, soaking up the atmosphere, smelling the salt air, listening to the sounds of seagulls and boats creaking, and enjoying the beautiful views. We ate dinner at the Acme Chop House, a lovely steak house and pregame hang out. Afterward we walked through Willie Mays Plaza and caught the last three innings of the game. The Giants lost, but we didn’t care.

We slept on the boat, dozing off to its therapeutic rocking and woke early the next morning to beautiful sunshine. Jack and his wife met us for breakfast at a cafe and afterward we drove home.

Saturday afternoon we picked up the kids from  their other parents’ houses and took them to an Oktoberfest we are invited to every year. Friends of ours have a house on a lot of acreage out in the country and they host this giant potluck party every fall. Local bands play and several (I think 13 this year) home beer brewers come to enter the beer tasting contest. The kids all run through the woods and play and when it gets dark they light a huge bonfire and make s’mores. Hundreds of people come to this event. It is really special. Everyone had a great time.

The kids went back to their other parents and Paul and I had Sunday to ourselves. We took a long walk along the ocean and then came home and took a nap. Paul puttered around the yard while I made us a special dinner of leek, bacon and pea risotto. Paul grilled some salmon and I tossed a salad. When I came outside to see what he was doing, I discovered  he had cleaned the outside patio, lit the outdoor fireplace and set up a cafe table in front of it. Candles were lit all around, soft music was playing and  a glass of wine was waiting for me. Perfect.

We reminisced about how we first met 4 1/2 years ago and how we used to spend our kid free weekends like this all the time. Then we got married, remodeled our house, blended our families and started a business and  got sidetracked from focusing on just us and our relationship. At the end of the evening I turned to Paul and said, “I think we got our groove back.” He agreed. We made a vow to each other to have a lot more weekends like this one.

Does your significant other read your blog? How does he feel about it? Does knowing he’s reading influence what you write?

One of my cyber step mom friends, Peggy, from The Stepmom’s Tool Box  answered this question on her blog after she read it on two other blogs, La Belle Mere and Steph in the City. I thought I should respond too since just recently Paul told me how much he enjoys reading my blog. As you may already know, he travels quite a bit on business and we are apart 2-3 days a week. He told me while he is away, reading my blog, (particularly all of the wonderful things I write about him) keeps him feeling connected to me. “They are like love letters,” he said. Knowing that, yes,  I would have to say his reading my blog does influence what I write, especially when I want to send him a message, like I did recently in my post “We’re not butter, babe, we’re steel.”

Modern romance at its best.