Paul is traveling much less these days and spending more time working from his home office in his study which is furnished with a comfy couch next to a fireplace. I, too, work from home in my art studio, which is in the back of the house. When it rains, Paul lights a fire and I bring my laptop into his study and we work side by side next to the fire.  We both love this new arrangement because not only do we not have to go anywhere, we get to spend more time together. Yesterday was a fairly sunny day, about 65 degrees, so we decided to take a drive up the coast after lunch so that we could go to the dump. Yes, the dump. We had a lot of things to recycle and the Santa Cruz dump is probably the most beautiful dump you will ever see. It is in on a hill top in the middle of farmland with the most stunning, panoramic ocean view. Gorgeous. We recycled all our cardboard and old files and then headed back down the hill where I witnessed my first ever glimpse of a wild turkey crossing the road. Aahh. What a nice afternoon. Dump run, turkey sighting. I just love living in Santa Cruz.

Whew! Wow, what a month this has been. It flew by. I cannot believe it. I just finished my first course, Media Literacy, for my master’s degree in Internet Marketing and I ABSOLUTELY loved it. I think going back to school  was the best decision I ever made. I am learning so much my brain is bursting with creativity. I made my own website on iWeb, a movie about myself on iMovie, set up an iGoogle page and created an avatar in Second Life. The latter of which was way cool. If you have never been to Second Life I highly recommend it. It is virtual reality at its best.

The greatest part of all of this is that this whole experience has brought Paul and me even closer together. We talk endlessly all day (we work together, remember) and into the night about  how we can work what I am learning into our current and future business plans. I have to create a marketing plan for my master’s thesis on a company of my choice so I am doing mine on our business. Paul tells me he has never seen me so happy, energized and creative. I agree. Going back to school at 48 , with five children has been an amazing experience. Everyone chips in to help out and whatever doesn’t get done I am learning to ignore. My standards of cleanliness have gone lower than ever before but who cares? I am a vessel of knowledge now and nothing is going to stop me.

Paul and I had a much needed very romantic, relaxing and wonderful weekend. We had both been so stressed between working hard, managing the kids and ruminating over very important decisions  to make regarding our business. We’ve been on overdrive the past few months, usually working on Saturdays, running the kids around and maybe taking a few hours to ourselves on Sunday afternoon, which is not nearly enough time to completely unwind. This past weekend was much different.

On Friday afternoon Paul got a call from his friend Jack who lives in the South Beach section of San Francisco, right near the harbor and the AT&T stadium (formerly PacBell)  where the San Francisco Giants play. He invited us to come up and stay on his boat in the harbor and we impulsively jumped at the chance. We packed an overnight bag (it was a no kid weekend) and by 3PM we were on the road to San Francisco.

The weather was gorgeous. It was the perfect Indian summer evening by the bay. It was just the two of us sitting alone sipping wine on the deck of the boat. We could both feel all of our troubles and worries melting away. We walked around the harbor for a bit, soaking up the atmosphere, smelling the salt air, listening to the sounds of seagulls and boats creaking, and enjoying the beautiful views. We ate dinner at the Acme Chop House, a lovely steak house and pregame hang out. Afterward we walked through Willie Mays Plaza and caught the last three innings of the game. The Giants lost, but we didn’t care.

We slept on the boat, dozing off to its therapeutic rocking and woke early the next morning to beautiful sunshine. Jack and his wife met us for breakfast at a cafe and afterward we drove home.

Saturday afternoon we picked up the kids from  their other parents’ houses and took them to an Oktoberfest we are invited to every year. Friends of ours have a house on a lot of acreage out in the country and they host this giant potluck party every fall. Local bands play and several (I think 13 this year) home beer brewers come to enter the beer tasting contest. The kids all run through the woods and play and when it gets dark they light a huge bonfire and make s’mores. Hundreds of people come to this event. It is really special. Everyone had a great time.

The kids went back to their other parents and Paul and I had Sunday to ourselves. We took a long walk along the ocean and then came home and took a nap. Paul puttered around the yard while I made us a special dinner of leek, bacon and pea risotto. Paul grilled some salmon and I tossed a salad. When I came outside to see what he was doing, I discovered  he had cleaned the outside patio, lit the outdoor fireplace and set up a cafe table in front of it. Candles were lit all around, soft music was playing and  a glass of wine was waiting for me. Perfect.

We reminisced about how we first met 4 1/2 years ago and how we used to spend our kid free weekends like this all the time. Then we got married, remodeled our house, blended our families and started a business and  got sidetracked from focusing on just us and our relationship. At the end of the evening I turned to Paul and said, “I think we got our groove back.” He agreed. We made a vow to each other to have a lot more weekends like this one.

Does your significant other read your blog? How does he feel about it? Does knowing he’s reading influence what you write?

One of my cyber step mom friends, Peggy, from The Stepmom’s Tool Box  answered this question on her blog after she read it on two other blogs, La Belle Mere and Steph in the City. I thought I should respond too since just recently Paul told me how much he enjoys reading my blog. As you may already know, he travels quite a bit on business and we are apart 2-3 days a week. He told me while he is away, reading my blog, (particularly all of the wonderful things I write about him) keeps him feeling connected to me. “They are like love letters,” he said. Knowing that, yes,  I would have to say his reading my blog does influence what I write, especially when I want to send him a message, like I did recently in my post “We’re not butter, babe, we’re steel.”

Modern romance at its best.

For those of you who were anxious to hear, Paul did finally make it home yesterday after he got stranded at a diner with no gas and no money to pay for his lunch. Thankfully, his business partner was 20 minutes behind him on the same highway and met up with him to pay for his lunch and buy him a tank of gas. Otherwise, I would have had to drive down to meet him.

He was pretty bone-weary and bedraggled when he got home. I had dinner (shrimp scampi) and wine waiting. We sat at our outdoor fireplace and relaxed. He loved the new golf shoes I got him for his birthday.

RECIPE FOR SHRIMP SCAMPI (for two)

Ingredients:

3/4 lb. large shrimp or prawns, peeled and deveined leaving tails on

3 T good olive oil

2 T dry white wine (for drinking and marinating shrimp)

kosher salt and fresh ground pepper

3/4 stick unsalted butter, softened

several gloves minced garlic

1/4 cup minced shallots

3 T  minced fresh parsley

2 tsp. minced fresh rosemary

1/4 tsp. red pepper flakes

1 tsp. grated lemon zest

2 T fresh squeezed lemon juice

1 egg yolk

2/3 cup panko bread crumbs

lemon wedges for garnish

Place shrimp in large bowl and toss with wine, olive oil and dash of kosher salt and pepper.  In a separate bowl, mash the softened butter with the garlic, shallots, parsley, rosemary, red pepper flakes, lemon zest, lemon juice, egg yolk, panko and dash of salt and pepper.

Arrange shrimp in a single, circular layer in a round baking or gratin dish placing the tails in the center of the dish. Pour the remaining marinade over the shrimp and then spread the butter mixture evenly over the shrimp. Bake at 425 degrees for 10-12 minutes. If you like, you can place the dish under the broiler for 1 minute to brown. Be careful to watch though. Don’t want to burn it. Serve with crusty bread.

Today is Paul’s birthday. He is driving back from L.A. and should hopefully arrive around dinner time for our no-kid-date-night-celebration. Hopefully is the optimum word here since he lost is wallet, has no money or credit cards and no food, except for a bag of sunflower seeds. He fuel gauge reads that he has only 176 miles of gas left and he has over 200 miles to go. Will he make it? Tune in tomorrow.

Happy Birthday, Paul.

Paul and I have spent the last few days in deep, intense discussion about the state of affairs with our business. These are tough times. Business growing pains, employee issues, decisions to make about what direction to take. Paul is a talker. He needs to blow off steam, vent his frustrations and talk out loud to sort out his thoughts and feelings. I now know this about him. He can repeat the same statement 50 times. And I let him. I listen for the 50th time like he’s telling me for the first time. I realize a lot of what he is telling me of late stems from pent up emotions because I was gone for two weeks and he didn’t have anyone to talk to. He’s very worried about a lot of things. I, (oddly) however, am not. I am serenely at peace with everything. Why? Because I know that even if our life were to go to hell in a hand basket I will always have him.  I remember reading a saying somewhere, I think from Dear Abby, that said “The same fire that melts butter, makes steel strong.” Our stuggles of late have made us stronger. And I have never loved him more.

Paul and I just returned from another getaway business trip in S.CA. Since we travel there so often and are getting a lot of business down there, Paul decided to open an office  in L.A. — in Marina del Ray to be exact.  He will be moving in on July 1st. That means he will be traveling to the S.CA office every week for a while and eventually every other week.  

We drove down on Wednesday and stayed three nights. Paul surprised me by booking a suite at  the Westlake Village Inn. It is one of those  luxurious hotels where you find  fresh flowers and wine  waiting for you, chocolates on your pillow and the housekeeper puts fancy origami folds in the toilet paper.

At night we walked the grounds on our way to dinner. The architecture is very Tuscany style with Roman pillars, clay tile roofs and walkways; lots of fountains and private cabanas by the pool. We went swimming at night, soaked in the hot tub and admired the lamp lit palm trees and lush, tropical landscaping of papyrus plants, star jasmine, bougainvillea, lavender, and the  many different varieties  of roses.

It wasn’t all play and relaxation. We visited job sites, had meetings with clients and on Thursday presented a Green Seminar to the local building community. Paul is very excited about the prospects, leads and new business this trip generated. In this, or any economy, you have to go where the work is, which means that by opening this office, he will be away from us a lot more. 

Paul was very concerned about the effect his frequent traveling would have on our home life, so we decided he would only be gone on the weeks that I had just my girls, Sophia and Eva  and his kids were normally with their mom. On the every other week that we had all the kids, he would try to be here.  This is actually a welcome compromise for me in some ways. For four years before I met Paul, I was a single mother with two daughters who got used to having me all to themselves.  Now with Paul gone on our weeks alone, it will be only the three of us again and just like old times.  It gives us the guilt free  opportunity to do things that only we enjoy like eating Thai food, learning to sew and painting each other’s nails. Pretty soon my girls will be going off to college so I want to savor this time alone with them for as long as I can.  Paul understands this and he is grateful that I am independent enough and capable to be alone. Plus, as the old saying goes: “Absence  makes the heart grow fonder.”

Paul and I are in S. CA again for  a business trip. While he was golfing with a client, I decided to take a ride over to Simi Valley and visit the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library. It was a very fascinating experience with lots of interesting and moving  displays. There was the original letter he wrote to the American people when he learned he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. And of course Nancy Reagan’s famous wardrobe of Oscar De La Renta’s ballgowns and Versace suits; a case filled with Ronald Reagan’s belt buckles, his diary, a replica of his oval office and samples of White House china. The most exciting exhibit for me was the actual Air Force One. Not a replica. The real thing. Boeing dismantled it and shipped to the library and reassembled it in a hangar inside the museum. You can walk through it,  which I did. Twice. It is not nearly as big as depicted in Hollywood movies. The cockpit was very small. There were jars of jelly beans everywhere. Vintage ’80’s appliances such as an IBM Selectric typewriter, a microwave (with no popcorn setting) and really old looking phones and computers. It was a real thrill and an experience I highly recommend.

Paul and I are the same age, 47. We’re old.  Oh, and I almost forgot, we have five kids. I feel I must stress this for the throngs of people who still, unbelievably, ask me, “Are you two going to have a baby together? That would be so cute. Just like the movie with Fred Mac Murray and Lucille Ball.” As if somehow our having a baby would be entertainment for them. Sorry to disappoint, but no, we are not. Paul and I  discussed this the first time we talked on the phone, before we had ever met. He asked me if I wanted anymore kids. I don’t remember my exact answer, but  he claims  I laughed uncontrollably for five minutes. When I caught my breath I said, “Hell no!”

Instead of having a baby together, we decided to give birth to something else that would cost us a fortune, cause us many sleepless nights and would be more work than we ever dreamed possible. We decided to start a business. It wasn’t enough that we were planning our wedding, blending our families and remodeling our house. No, we needed to throw in some added stress, financial instability and general uncertainty. What the heck.

When I met Paul he was a consulting mechanical engineer designing solar thermal radiant hydronic heating systems. Radiant heat, particularly if is solar integrated,  is the most energy efficient and healthiest form of heating. Although radiant heat has been around since the Romans, it is just now really catching on in the US and he wanted to be a part of this cutting edge and innovative technology.  He read up on the subject, consulted trade organizations, and what he couldn’t learn from someone else, he figured out on his own. In his words, “It was a painful learning curve”, but he persisted and is now highly regarded by many as the industry expert in his field.

In spite of radiant heat’s growing popularity, it is still challenging to find qualified radiant heating installers. The construction industry is slow to react to change and Paul was getting increasingly frustrated because he couldn’t find trained technicians to implement his designs. He needed to figure what direction he wanted take with his consulting business, so he took a little surfing vacation in Mexico to clear his head and decide what to do.  While he was there, he  met George, our business partner. George is a master plumber who at the time was at a cross roads in his life too. Bored with being a union plumber, he was searching for more challenging work that incorporated state of the art technology.  The two of them hit it off  when they both realized they each had something to offer that would benefit the other.  Excited, they started talks exploring joining forces and starting a business together. Our design, build construction business was born on that surf trip in Mexico and from then on the term “board meeting” took on a whole new meaning. When Paul returned  he was so excited. I knew that he was on to something big and I supported him. I also knew he would never be happy or satisfied if he did not take his business in this direction.

There was, of course,  the issue of capital. They would need money for start up costs to set up an office, buy equipment and cover salaries until the business started making money. I told Paul that I would be his first investor and gave him some seed money from the sale of my house to help him get started. It was the beginning of an amazing,  frustrating, scary, exhausting and ultimately rewarding experience.

It has been two and a half years since we embarked on this adventure. Like many aspects of our lives together,  we survived because we stuck together, gave each other unyielding support and vented our frustrations by screaming at each other when we got really pissed off. We have had our rough patches and I am happy to say the worst is over, not because the stress in our lives is reduced, but because we have learned to deal with it better. After three years of marriage, we have a better understanding of each other’s moods and temperaments. Above all, we have faith in each other. When one of us is faltering, the other is there for support.

Our business in really taking off and is now making money.  In spite of the dismal economy, our business is growing and we are hiring. Recent tax credits have made our products and services much more affordable. We are starting to get work all over the country and even in Europe.