It was a heart break for both Eva and Jill to not live so close to each other. Eva does not remember a time when they were not friends. They met when they were three. I have photos of them dressed in their Madeline costumes selling lemonade in the front yard.  It is amazing how close these two girls are and probably always will be. Their friendship has survived not only our move, but the test of middle school. Now they are both 14, starting high school in the fall and IN LOVE with Justin Bieber. Susie and I gave the girls the tickets as a gift for their 8th grade graduation. We took them out to dinner first and while they went into the concert to watch the opening acts we waited in line to buy T-shirts. I enjoyed spoiling my daughter this way. I used to worry that she was the neglected middle child … but not anymore. As we were leaving the concert, (after 3 1/2 hours of shrieking and squealing) Eva put her arms around me, squeezed me hard and proclaimed, “This was the greatest night of my life. Thanks, Mom.” I swooned with Mommy glee.

It was a fun filled, busy and joyful occasion filled with lots of activities during the day with  surfing, sailing and  kayaking, and in the evenings at each other’s homes playing charades, board games and reminiscing over old photos of Pop Pop in the army and on his wedding day. Those were the moments when I looked at my girls blending in with their “step” aunts, uncles and cousins, enjoying themselves and feeling included, even though they don’t share the same heritage, history or genealogy. After Sophia and Eva left for the wedding in New Jersey, where I heard reports that they ripped up the dance floor with their East coast cousins, we had one final big party at our house on the last day of the reunion.

I had planned a menu of grilled chicken kabobs, homemade potato salad and coleslaw. It was  a pot luck and everyone brought their contribution. Paul’s older brother decided he wanted the family to take a trip down memory lane and asked his wife to prepare “bun burgers,” a dish their mother made for them as children. It stirred some fond and not so fond memories. (Apparently not everyone liked the bun burgers.) I didn’t quite get the recipe, but I watched them being prepared. Basically, you prepare ground beef like you are making hamburgers. Throw in some spices and some chopped onions, but instead of adding bread crumbs, pick out the bread from the tops of hamburger buns, which leaves a big O, tear it into pieces and add to the mix. The top of the bun is placed on the bottom half of the bun and then on a cookie sheet. Next, scoop up a  generous dollop of hamburger meat and place inside the opening of the top bun. Bake in the oven at 400 degrees and just before they are done, top with strips, in an X shape, of Kraft processed American cheese. Place back in oven until melted.

I have to say they were pretty darn good and could easily be adapted to something healthy and rather gourmet if using, say, ground turkey, whole wheat buns and  perhaps some goat cheese, instead of the fatty beef and fake cheese. The culinary nostalgia didn’t end there. No. There were fish sticks too! You know, the frozen kind that comes in a box with lots of fillers and mystery ingredients. They were a  once-a-week staple in Paul’s family’s house. Paul’s brother felt that no family reunion was complete without fish sticks and bun burgers. As we were standing around the kitchen, noshing on the retro delicacies, he lamented, “Too bad we don’t have fake milk to go with them.” Anyone who grew up in a large, budget stretching family in the 50’s and 60’s would know what fake milk is. I do. My mom used to take powdered milk, mix it with water and add it to the real milk to make it last a little longer. It was gross, but we accepted it because that’s just the way it was.

As Paul’s family reminisced about their childhood memories, I reflected on my own (I’m one of five kids.) and realized that big families are pretty much the same.  It isn’t just the food, the family vacations, the sibling squabbles and competition for the bathroom that they have in common, but rather the inherent bonds, life lessons and experiences that go with the territory. I’ve always said being part of a big family prepares you for life’s greatest challenges: To be able to get along with anyone, to know how to wait your turn, to accept delayed gratification and to tolerate things that can at times be somewhat unpleasant.

My thoughts wandered to the future as I pictured myself at Sophia’s or Eva’s wedding and imagined all the guests who would attend.  There would be my family, Jared’s family and  Paul’s. It would be  a blended family wedding… and one hell of a party.

One day this past week, when Eva and I were alone in the car, I told her how proud  I was of her for how she managed to survive middle school with dignity and grace. She didn’t become a mean girl, dress like a tramp or become a pot head (like many kids did). She nodded knowingly and thanked me,  but I am not sure she realizes yet the full magnitude of her achievement. Eva has made good choices and being able to have the courage and good sense to do so is the foundation for lifelong happiness and success.

I wish my Eva and her classmates, the 8th grade graduation class of 2010, much happiness and success in high school and beyond.

I know many people’s reaction to crime is to build more prisons. It’s all about punishment and I agree, there are dire consequences for those who commit these heinous acts. An angry group of protestors has already been formed in response whose very name is suggestive of  retaliation. Although this group’s fears and feelings are understandable, fighting back in this way will only fan the combative flames and prolong the conflict. These crimes need to be prevented in the first place and the solution is education and awareness. That is why my 17-year-old daughter, Sophia and a few dozen of her classmates have formed a peace activist group called Peace on the Streets. Their aim to promote peace and to spread the word that violence never solved anything. Sophia and a few other members were part of a panel discussion on community TV last night and I could not have been more proud of her. If you are interested in learning more please visit their Facebook page. It is open to the public. You do not have to have a Facebook account to visit. You may also learn more by reading the Peace on the Streets blog.

I don’t think Eva was all that impressed with her awards (she was very self-effacing about them) but I was sure proud of her. She is an amazingly creative child. She will spend hours alone in her room making up dance routines that she then videotapes and makes into movies. I think she has a career ahead of her in the creative arts.

June 4th Ian and his band, Dirty Penny, will  perform a benefit concert for Haiti at The Catalyst. Sophia’s Red Cross club at her high school organized it. Her friends just about died when they found out Jonny Prynce was our tenant. They were like, “You  know him!!??” I think I’ll send him a bottle of champagne back stage because in my heart and mind, Ian/Jonny is a real star. Download his latest album on iTunes.