Johnny Prynce, our rock star tenant, has been traveling on tour all month and is breezin’ back into town today for a concert in downtown Santa Cruz at the Catalyst. Woo hoo!! We’re all going. The opening act is a band called Radid Fire whom I have mentioned before. Rapid Fire consists of three teenage boys around 13 years old, two of whom are the twin sons of my friend Kathryn, who is a frequent commenter here. I just talked to Kathryn and we plan to meet up and agreed to wear our ear plugs and to keep our phones on vibrate. The video above is of Johnny’s band, Dirty Penny singing “Vendetta”. Enjoy.

Yesterday was Sam’s 19th birthday and we all went out to dinner to celebrate. My girls, Eva and Sophia, were at their dad’s and did not attend, but Paul’s kids, along with Susie, his ex-wife, met up at a wonderful Chinese restaurant in Capitola called Canton’s. I highly recommend it.

It was a pleasant evening. We each had assigned jobs to order various courses, ( mine was appetizers) but desert was the usual fortune cookie. Sam went first to read aloud his fortune, but before he did he said, “I think I got Dad and Carol”s.” (Carol is me, those of you who don’t know.) It said: “You will be very happy with your spouse.”

“What a nice thing to say”, I thought, not only because he could recognize that his father and I are happy, but because he acknowledged my existence in the first place. You see, Sam and I have a very turbulent past, so to speak. There are times when he looks at me with such disdain I swear he hates me. If I had to list all the mistakes I made as a step mother,  most would  begin with Sam.

When I first entered Sam’s life he was coasting along just fine without me. Both of his parents worked outside the home and there I was working from home and therefore able to observe him not doing his homework, eating crap and playing too many video games. I felt it was my role to correct his behavior and made it my mission to do so. In hindsight, this was not such a great idea. It not only back fired in my face, it bred resentment. I hope someday Sam will look back on my “interference” as caring rather than an annoyance. Only time will tell. If I had to do it all over again I would simply leave his parenting up to his parents and stay out of it. I set myself up to be the bad guy, even though I was well intentioned. Perhaps Sam’s acknowledgement that I was  good for his father was the first nod in my favor. Maybe I am making way too much of this, but sometimes I just have to take what I can get.

View from the esplanade

I finished my second class in graduate school yesterday and to celebrate Paul and I headed down to the beach to watch the surfers and then had dinner in Capitola Village. I have been working so hard it was really nice to get a brief respite. What a wonderful husband I have, I must say. He has been so unbelievably supportive, helpful and encouraging with my academic endeavors. I could not have gone back to school and have done so well as I have without him. He’s the best and I am soooooo lucky to have him.

Image of pastel sketch of snow scene by Nina.

Here is another photo of my talented sister Nina’s art work. This is the view of a grove of trees at our sister Pam’s house in New Jersey. I am so happy to know that my sister has something to do when she is snowed in. Keep up the great work!

Photo of beach scene sketched in pastels by my sister Nina.

A week or so ago I posted a photo Paul took along Highway 1 (the Pacific Coast Highway) of a rainbow across the sand dunes in Marina, CA, a town about 30 miles south of where we live in Santa Cruz. I labeled the post Let it not snow. My sister Nina, the artist in the family saw it and came up with this pastel sketch. Isn’t it great? She is so talented.

Each year for the past seven years, Build-A-Bear Workshop, through its Huggable Heroes program, has searched for and recognized young leaders who make positive contributions in their communities or around the world. This year, ten Huggable Heroes, between the ages of eight and 18, from the United States and Canada, will be selected and honored for their good deeds. Each of the ten Huggable Heroes will receive a prize worth $10,000 ($7,500 in the form of an educational scholarship and $2,500 from the Build-A-Bear Workshop Foundation to be donated to the 501(c)(3) charity of each Huggable Hero’s choice). In addition, the Huggable Heroes will win a trip for themselves and a parent to St. Louis, the home of Build-A-Bear Workshop World Bearquarters. During their visit, the 2010 Huggable Heroes will meet each other, be honored for their good deeds and participate in a photo shoot for the 2011 Build-A-Bear Workshop Huggable Heroes Calendar.

Entries are being accepted here  through February 26, 2010 or by picking up an entry form at a participating Build-A-Bear Workshop store in the United States and Canada.

Here is a link to the electronic press kit with more information on the program and past Huggable Heroes, as well as volunteer tips and ways to help encourage kids to get involved and make a difference:

For all my East coast family and friends who are sending me pictures of it snowing, here are some photos of it not snowing here in Santa Cruz.

Image of rainbow taken along Pacific Coast Highway

Photo of rainbow taken in Marina, CA.

We had a blast of a party today for the Superbowl. We invited all of our favorite people (Hello to C and D if you are reading this.), everyone brought a dish to share (Great pate b-t-w), the kids jumped on the trampoline, played ping pong  and everyone took part in the Superbowl pool. The main attraction, however, was the halftime show and  I don’t mean Roger Daltry and the Who. No. I mean our son, Mark and his newly formed rock band who performed in our carport and they were GREAT. ( I’m sure everyone in the neighborhood thought so too.) Paul and I were beaming with pride.

A few weeks ago Mark came to us and asked if he and his bandmates could practice at our house. We said yes, but so far they haven’t since there has been an issue with the transportation of the drum set. I guess those things aren’t so easy to tote around. In any case, we were delighted to hear them play. Mark often plays in his room and we listen through the door, but this was the first time we heard his band play together.

I have to say it was a relief that they were good, although I should not have been surprised. Mark has a real passion for music. In fact, just last week he revealed to us that he has no plans to go to college and is actually looking forward to “living the hard scrabble life of his rock idol Slash.” Can’t begin to tell you how comforting it was to  hear that. Paul and I  took one look at each other and just laughed. Kids, kids, kids. We sat him down on the couch to lecture him on the benefits of going to college and the downside of the hard scrabble life. We certainly didn’t want to talk him out of his dream, especially since he has so much talent, but we wanted to make him understand that in order for him to be in control of his destiny he has to make the choices instead of having choices thrust upon him. We counseled him to do his  best in high school and when the time comes to decide about college, he will have a lot more options than someone who slacked off.  (His last report card was less than stellar.) If he decides he doesn’t want to go to college then the decision will be his. If he  wants to go to college, but can’t get in because of poor grades, then the decision is not his. I made the analogy that it is like going on a job interview you are not sure you want. Go on the interview, give it your best shot and if they offer you the job, then you get to decide if you want it. I think he understood. His driving privileges have been restricted until he pulls up his grades. He’s a smart kid with his head on straight so we are confident he will make the right choices. As for his musical talent: the kid’s got it. If the girls aren’t beating down his door now, they will be soon. And that will be another on-the-couch conversation for sure.

Paul is traveling much less these days and spending more time working from his home office in his study which is furnished with a comfy couch next to a fireplace. I, too, work from home in my art studio, which is in the back of the house. When it rains, Paul lights a fire and I bring my laptop into his study and we work side by side next to the fire.  We both love this new arrangement because not only do we not have to go anywhere, we get to spend more time together. Yesterday was a fairly sunny day, about 65 degrees, so we decided to take a drive up the coast after lunch so that we could go to the dump. Yes, the dump. We had a lot of things to recycle and the Santa Cruz dump is probably the most beautiful dump you will ever see. It is in on a hill top in the middle of farmland with the most stunning, panoramic ocean view. Gorgeous. We recycled all our cardboard and old files and then headed back down the hill where I witnessed my first ever glimpse of a wild turkey crossing the road. Aahh. What a nice afternoon. Dump run, turkey sighting. I just love living in Santa Cruz.