Over the years I have learned to relax a little and just when I was starting to let my guard down,  Paul and I were the victims of cyber crime. Our credit card numbers were stolen, most likely by some wait server in a restaurant, but our cards remained with us, so we didn’t know until it was too late that we had been victimized. Next thing I knew, we were being charged for purchases made in countries we had not visited. Fortunately we caught it before it got out of hand, we were not responsible for the charges, but it was still a hassle dealing with canceling the cards and getting new ones. I couldn’t help but wonder I could have done to prevent it from happening again. I searched online and found a solution with IdentityHawk. They are the leaders in identity theft protection. Now I feel secure in the knowledge that my personal identity, property and assets are safeguarded from online predator and thieves.

The most compelling plea of Ms. Waters, and one with which I heartily agree, is her firm belief in packing children nutritious and hearty school lunches. This is a conviction I firmly believe in and have always practiced. I know some parents believe the importance of teaching children independence by making them pack their own lunches, but I know that if I did that, my kids, in their hectic scramble to get out the door each morning, would simply not do it. Since I don’t mind, and because it is so important to me that my children remain well nourished throughout their school day, I am happy to do it. Truthfully, it’s really not that hard or time consuming. Even when I worked full time and had an hour commute, I managed to get the job done. Because I do most of the prep the night before and  have such an assembly line efficient system, I can pack 7 lunches, (including one for me and Paul) in 10 minutes.

Another motivation for doing so is to keep my kids away from the unhealthy junk food crap they could buy at school, which, thankfully,  my kids would never eat anyway. However, I can see what an enticement it can be since it is so readily available and so cheap. My stepson tells me he can buy a slice of pizza and a Coke for $2. Certainly not organic or sustainable. Why do schools sell soda in the first place? Actually, I know the answer to that question. Soda companies underwrite the school with hefty donations in exchange for putting soda vending machines in the cafeteria. Under funded schools are fearful of giving up the resources. An outrage.

Here’s what I packed in my kids lunches today: fresh berry salad, bagel chips with basil and sun dried tomato hummus, and their favorite sandwich– turkey, Havarti cheese, bacon, avocado, lettuce and kalamata olive spread, which I make from scratch. Here’s the recipe: combine 1/4 cup mayo with a clove of garlic, a handful of kalamata olives and pinch of herbs de Provence in a blender or food processor. Pulse until creamy, although a few olive chunks are fine. My kids love it.

Next was the cost. How was I going to pay for it? Could I get a loan? And what kind of loan could I get? I did my own research online, and ultimately felt very comfortable with my choice. However, the process would have been so much simpler and more reassuring had I known about Degree Jungle. This is a site that helps prospective students wade through the morass of online degrees and degree options, with documented research on accreditation, costs and student satisfaction. They do the research for you and rank the 64 top online degree programs. (Kind of like the Princeton Review of online programs.) I was happy to see that my alma mater was tied for 6th place.

Had I known about Degree Jungle, my choice to attend Full Sail University would most likely not have changed. However, the decision making process would have been so much simpler. That is why I am sharing this information with you. If you are considering an online degree program, I highly recommend that you check out Degree Jungle.

And that’s a good thing.

I don’t think it is healthy for her or for me to get too involved in what she is going. She’s an adult. I don’t need to know every detail of her life.

I mention this because there is a slew of kids from our town who are attending Sophia’s college and the mom of one of these students approached me at the parent’s orientation to ask for all of my contact information to add to a list she is creating as a support network for kids from the area. At first I thought it was a good idea, sort of, but I was reluctant to participate and I discussed my feelings with Paul. He agreed and  reasoned, “Isn’t it up to the kids at this age to coordinate their own rides home and make their own connections?”

He’s right. Formulating a class list is simply an extension of elementary and middle school  room parenting procedures and, and in my opinion, a bit much. At this point, we need to allow our children to fend for themselves and cultivate their own relationships.

This brings me to my next point, which is helicopter parents who live vicariously through their kids by continuing to micromanage their lives. For example, I once had a chance encounter in a hair salon with a mom who flooded me with details of her daughter’s freshman year in college.  Not only did she orchestrate her daughter’s haircut (if that wasn’t bizarre enough), she overwhelmed me with news of her daughter’s life and her friends. I learned every class her daughter was taking, what grades she got in the classes, who her friends were, where they were from, what her parents did for a living, how they spent their free time and who they were dating. I wanted to scream, “OMG! Get a life, woman!”

I am not the only person who found this peculiar. Sophia was with me and she found it very odd too, which is more significant, because it is our offspring who suffer the most from this method of overbearing parenting.

Let go. Trust that you did a good job and your child has the tools to become a successful, happy and independent adult.

For my readers out there and to the woman in the hair salon, if you need help finding the right degree progam and school for you, I suggest you check out the College Navigator http://nces.ed.gov/collegenavigator/ . It will point you in the right direction and give you an idea of the many educational opportunities that are available to you.

Last week, while on a shopping trip with my three daughters to the local drugstore to purchase various sundried items, one of them informed me that she needed to do research for her health class on how to buy condoms.

I was highly amused.

At my age I am way past easy embarrassment, but my kids are not, and I have to confess that the whole experience of watching them squirm gave me great humor. So I milked it. After we made our selections for the monthly supply of tampons, shampoo and deodorant I exclaimed gleefully, “Let’s go buy some condoms!” They cringed.

I’m 49 years old, mother of five teens and married for five years to a man who I would not agree to even meet for coffee until he assured me he had had a vasectomy, so it’s been a long time since I’ve been in the birth control market, if you know what I mean.

Boy was I in for a prophylactic educational experience. Did you know that there is a female condom? I didn’t. Or that the sponge is back on the market? I had no idea. I’ve been out of the preventable procreation loop for sometime,  but all it took was a short trip to Walgreens to bring me up to speed.

Said teenage daughter, who shall remain nameless, had a whole survey/questionnaire to fill out. Foams, spermicides, gels… Oh my. So much to report. We even had to go up to the pharmacist and ask to see the over the counter “Plan B” morning after pills. It was a very thorough investigation and I’m glad. My children are now informed. They know what they need and where to buy it … just in case. And they can come to their mother for help and guidance because I will help them and support them. No matter what.

Kids need to know this stuff. Do I condone teen sex? Hell no. Am I in the delusional Sarah Palin-abstinence-is-the- only-anwer denial camp? Fuck no.  I’m a realist. My job is to guide my children to make the right, safe choices that are best suited for them.

This is not a morality or ethics issue, this it reality.

So, here is the best parenting advice I can give you. I have two teenage children, a son who is now 18 and a daughter who is 15. I have learned that a simple way to keep lines of communication open is to have a television show that I watch with each. When things get tense in the house I can almost always break the ice with them by talking about our show.

My son and I have a couple of shows we both like. Both of us laugh through Family Guy, The Office and Psych. The best part about comedies like this is you can share lines and laugh all over again throughout the week. My daughter and I both love How I Met you Mother and she is too scared to watch Pretty Little Liars without me in the room.

With two teenagers it is almost impossible to catch these shows when they are being broadcast. I’m very lucky that I have my Direct TV popular family packages because I can watch the shows free on-demand whenever I can pin them down.

Trust me on this one and give it a try. Laughing together or sharing some TV mystery show sure beats fighting with your kids.

P.S. Mary S. This one’s dedicated to you.

This is a subject that is near to my heart because as a kid growing up I had my unfair share of domestic abuse. I was one of the lucky ones in that I was able to overcome my early childhood trauma and move on to experience a peaceful home life with my loving husband. Not everyone is so fortunate. But thanks to increasing awareness, domestic violence will soon be a thing of the past.