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AN EXCELLENT ADVENTURE
4 CommentsA few weeks ago, Sophia came to me and asked me if she and her friend, Rita could drive to San Francisco, which is 75 miles North of Santa Cruz, to spend the day at Golden Gate Park to picnic and visit some museums. It was Memorial Day weekend and they were looking for an adventure. She and her friend are both 17, actually Sophia was 16 at the time, and I thought about it for a few minutes and said “no.” As in, “no way.” It’s not that I didn’t trust her, I was afraid of the holiday traffic and that they were not experienced enough to drive there by themselves. Sophia’s friend ending up going with her younger sister, Maria, 14 and they had a great time. No accidents or mishaps, no flat tires, no tragedies.
Later I came to doubt my decision and wondered if I should have let her go. Sooner or later I am going to have to let her spread her wings and be independent. She’ll be going off to college next year and I will have no idea what she is doing then. So I decided if Sophia asked again if she could go I would give her my permission. Sure enough, earlier this week she came out to visit me in my office and with that sheepish, imploring look on her face (that I have come to know so well) she told me they were making plans and could she pleeeease go. Without hesitation, this time I said, “Sure. Why not?” She was stunned. I choked back the lump of fear in my throat as I listened to her excitedly tell me all they wanted to do. Tea at the Japanese Tea Garden, The Impressionist Exhibit at the De Young and dinner in Chinatown. They worked out a budget for how much everything would cost. Here’s the best part, they wanted to take their younger sisters with them too. I think that’s what really sold me. I thought wistfully of my youth with my sisters taking me places and knew that this experience would be something they would remember forever.
They left early this morning, but only after I coached them on how to keep their money in their front pocket, how to spot weirdos and to stick together. I exhaled a sigh of relief when they called to say they had arrived safely. And I will feel much better when they return home.
Published on August 5, 2010 · Filed under: LIFE WITH TEENAGERS, PARENTING; Tagged as: LIFE WITH TEENAGERS, PARENTING, Teen drivers, teenage angst, TRIPS
4 Responses to “AN EXCELLENT ADVENTURE”
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Kathryn said on August 5th, 2010 at 3:51 pm
Yes I an finding that parenting teenagers means a lot of holding my breath, and also a lot of letting go!
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Kathryn said on August 5th, 2010 at 3:57 pm
Yes I am finding that parenting teenagers means a lot of holding my breath, and also a lot of letting go!
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One of my hardest was when my 16 year old daughter wanted to drive to a different state which took 3 days drive to get there…and then spend the summer with my cousin and his family. I did as you did, gulped hard, said yes and then prayed non-stop for the 3 days. She got there safe and had a great summer!
Thanks, Becky Jane -
I definitely am right there with you! My youngest is 17 and graduated a year early (translate- she thinks she is GROWN) and has been bitten by the travel bug. Which she gets it honest because especially during our homeschooled, self-employed days we would often just hit the road.
A couple of weeks ago she was allowed to drive 4 hours (with an 18 year old friend) to visit some friends in college and spend the night. Tough for me to do, but like she keeps telling me “mom, I’ll be away at college next year, and you won’t know every move I make”. And she is right, sooner or later I have to start letting go. So we let her go.
This past weekend, she wanted to ride with her friend to visit a the friend’s friend (a guy) at a marine base. They were going to rent a hotel room (this is same friend she drove 4 hours with) and then drive back the next day. She just neglected to find out til the night before that it was a 10 hour drive, at which I proceeded to freak out. We ended up in a compromise. We let her go, but we played chaperone from about 50 miles away. We stayed in another town, we kept up with where they were and that they arrived safe. We had to give emergency directions more than once, and it turned into a 2 night trip with some great learning expreiences for all of us.
The fact of the matter is, I do have to learn to let go of the leash, just knowing how much and when is a difficult process.
Bernice
