Today finally feels like the first real day of summer for me. June was such hectic month with Eva’s graduation, birthday parties, the end of school and the big family reunion. Just as our house guests were departing, I too got on a plane to Florida for a week long business trip and Eva and Sophia took off for a trip with their dad to the East Coast. Now that we are all back I feel like we can settle in and relax.

The kids were still asleep at noon today  when I left the house to go get my hair done. When I returned two hours later, Paul had put all of them to work  in the yard. In his words he had “organized his work crew.” They were weeding, removing mulch and cleaning out flower beds. Surprisingly, they were fairly good natured about it. When they were finished, the yard looked great. I made them some lunch and all  five kids sat at the kitchen counter eating, talking and laughing. They were working together, cooperating and seeming to have a good time as well. They were taking pride in their home which pleased me immensely.

This put me in a nesting mood so I made some soup. Paul cleaned out the freezer last night and found a ham bone stashed inside and I hunted around in the back of the cupboard for some dried beans I knew were in there. I threw it all  in a pot of water and let it simmer all afternoon and the smells are still wafting through the house. Yum.

Later in the evening, I asked Sophia if she would like to make brownies with me and she replied, “How about we make Mud Puddle cake instead?”  Great suggestion since Mud Puddle cake is much less fattening and super easy to make. I used to make it all the time when my girls were small because you can mix all the ingredients in one pan and the kids can stir ’til their hearts are content. It’s dairy free too. For a recipe of my Muddle Puddle cake click on my Just Imaginate blog. (Scroll down the page, it’s the 5th recipe down.)

I better go check and see if it’s ready.

Yesterday marked the halfway point in my master’s degree program. I am ecstatic that I have made it this far. Whew! So far so good. I have done extremely well  and I am learning so much and loving every minute of it. Because it is a year round program, I don’t get much time off. I have a vacation this coming week and Paul and I are taking the kids down south to Huntington Beach to stay with Paul’s sister for a long July 4th weekend. We plan to check out some colleges for Sophia. The kids are all excited. It will be nice to get away and spend some family time together.

This past week marked two great family gathering events in the Shwanda household.  Paul’s brother and five sisters all flew or drove into Santa Cruz (from as far away as Alabama and Ohio) for a family reunion  to celebrate Pop Pop’s 90th birthday. In addition, my ex-husband, Jared, took our two daughters, Sophia and Eva, to his niece’s wedding in New Jersey. Sophia and Eva got to spend the first part of the week with their step dad’s family and the second part of the week with their dad’s family. (Jared’s family is also rather large in that he has one sister and four brothers.)

It was a fun filled, busy and joyful occasion filled with lots of activities during the day with  surfing, sailing and  kayaking, and in the evenings at each other’s homes playing charades, board games and reminiscing over old photos of Pop Pop in the army and on his wedding day. Those were the moments when I looked at my girls blending in with their “step” aunts, uncles and cousins, enjoying themselves and feeling included, even though they don’t share the same heritage, history or genealogy. After Sophia and Eva left for the wedding in New Jersey, where I heard reports that they ripped up the dance floor with their East coast cousins, we had one final big party at our house on the last day of the reunion.

I had planned a menu of grilled chicken kabobs, homemade potato salad and coleslaw. It was  a pot luck and everyone brought their contribution. Paul’s older brother decided he wanted the family to take a trip down memory lane and asked his wife to prepare “bun burgers,” a dish their mother made for them as children. It stirred some fond and not so fond memories. (Apparently not everyone liked the bun burgers.) I didn’t quite get the recipe, but I watched them being prepared. Basically, you prepare ground beef like you are making hamburgers. Throw in some spices and some chopped onions, but instead of adding bread crumbs, pick out the bread from the tops of hamburger buns, which leaves a big O, tear it into pieces and add to the mix. The top of the bun is placed on the bottom half of the bun and then on a cookie sheet. Next, scoop up a  generous dollop of hamburger meat and place inside the opening of the top bun. Bake in the oven at 400 degrees and just before they are done, top with strips, in an X shape, of Kraft processed American cheese. Place back in oven until melted.

I have to say they were pretty darn good and could easily be adapted to something healthy and rather gourmet if using, say, ground turkey, whole wheat buns and  perhaps some goat cheese, instead of the fatty beef and fake cheese. The culinary nostalgia didn’t end there. No. There were fish sticks too! You know, the frozen kind that comes in a box with lots of fillers and mystery ingredients. They were a  once-a-week staple in Paul’s family’s house. Paul’s brother felt that no family reunion was complete without fish sticks and bun burgers. As we were standing around the kitchen, noshing on the retro delicacies, he lamented, “Too bad we don’t have fake milk to go with them.” Anyone who grew up in a large, budget stretching family in the 50′s and 60′s would know what fake milk is. I do. My mom used to take powdered milk, mix it with water and add it to the real milk to make it last a little longer. It was gross, but we accepted it because that’s just the way it was.

As Paul’s family reminisced about their childhood memories, I reflected on my own (I’m one of five kids.) and realized that big families are pretty much the same.  It isn’t just the food, the family vacations, the sibling squabbles and competition for the bathroom that they have in common, but rather the inherent bonds, life lessons and experiences that go with the territory. I’ve always said being part of a big family prepares you for life’s greatest challenges: To be able to get along with anyone, to know how to wait your turn, to accept delayed gratification and to tolerate things that can at times be somewhat unpleasant.

My thoughts wandered to the future as I pictured myself at Sophia’s or Eva’s wedding and imagined all the guests who would attend.  There would be my family, Jared’s family and  Paul’s. It would be  a blended family wedding… and one hell of a party.

Eva celebrated her 14th birthday this past week.  Sophia and Paul’s niece, who was visiting for the family reunion, spent an entire day making this cake. It was a masterpiece–three tiered devil’s food chocolate complete with marzipan flowers. Truly a work of art.

Eva graduated from 8th grade last Thursday. It was a big deal when you consider that Eva was not particularly fond of middle school. I think this is a sentiment shared by most people. Ask any woman about the toughest period in her life and she will most likely tell you it was the year she turned 12. I still recall my own horror stories when I was tortured by mean girls and shunned to go sit by myself in the playground because I wouldn’t participate in their exclusion of someone else.

One day this past week, when Eva and I were alone in the car, I told her how proud  I was of her for how she managed to survive middle school with dignity and grace. She didn’t become a mean girl, dress like a tramp or become a pot head (like many kids did). She nodded knowingly and thanked me,  but I am not sure she realizes yet the full magnitude of her achievement. Eva has made good choices and being able to have the courage and good sense to do so is the foundation for lifelong happiness and success.

I wish my Eva and her classmates, the 8th grade graduation class of 2010, much happiness and success in high school and beyond.

For those of you who have been following this blog for a while, you may recall that I have written about a string of horrible crimes that have occurred here in our humble, sleepy little beach town. Back in October, a 16-year-old Santa Cruz boy was stabbed and killed in a fight just blocks away from the high school. Six months after that incident, the boy’s cousin lost his life when he  was shot in an unprovoked attack while he was walking through a park to retrieve a bicycle he had left there. Both murders are believed to have been committed by known gang members. Neither victim was a member or associated with a gang.

I know many people’s reaction to crime is to build more prisons. It’s all about punishment and I agree, there are dire consequences for those who commit these heinous acts. An angry group of protestors has already been formed in response whose very name is suggestive of  retaliation. Although this group’s fears and feelings are understandable, fighting back in this way will only fan the combative flames and prolong the conflict. These crimes need to be prevented in the first place and the solution is education and awareness. That is why my 17-year-old daughter, Sophia and a few dozen of her classmates have formed a peace activist group called Peace on the Streets. Their aim to promote peace and to spread the word that violence never solved anything. Sophia and a few other members were part of a panel discussion on community TV last night and I could not have been more proud of her. If you are interested in learning more please visit their Facebook page. It is open to the public. You do not have to have a Facebook account to visit. You may also learn more by reading the Peace on the Streets blog.

A few days ago I ran into an old acquaintance of mine whom I haven’t seen in a few years. Our kids went to elementary school together and then went off in different directions to different middle schools and we lost touch. She has two daughters ages 11 and 15. As you know I have five children ages: 12, 14, 16. 17 and 19. It was nice to catch up after we both admitted we couldn’t remember each other’s names, which was scary because we used to pretty good friends. I told her the teen years have fried my brain. I have a lot more gray hairs I joked. She laughed and then our conversation turned serious. I shared my travails of divorcing, remarrying, moving and blending five children. She confided in me the emotional toll raising her one teenager has had on her with a look of exasperation that made think to myself “AS IF!!!! TRY MULTIPLYING THAT BY FIVE LADY!!!!”  Here’s the rub. This woman is a therapist. She is trained in marriage and family counseling. If she’s having a hard time with it, then where does that leave the rest of us? (Big sigh.) I assured her that her oldest was blazing a trail for the youngest and that it will get easier as she herself gets older and wiser. The mind is kind. That’s why we forget things. Childbirth. The teen years. It will all be a blur.

Last night was the 8th grade award ceremony at Eva’s school. She won two awards, the “all school” award for “well-rounded excellence” and the “art persistence” award. I love these clever name they came up with. The art persistence award is given to students who continually strive for excellence in the area of art. When others may give up when a project seems “good enough” those art persistent types just keep going. For a sample of her work check out her “straw skirt” on my Just Imaginate blog.

I don’t think Eva was all that impressed with her awards (she was very self-effacing about them) but I was sure proud of her. She is an amazingly creative child. She will spend hours alone in her room making up dance routines that she then videotapes and makes into movies. I think she has a career ahead of her in the creative arts.

Ian, aka, Jonny Prynce, our rock star tenant, has just returned from his Young and Wrecked road tour. He was gone for several months. He checked in occasionally to regale us with stories of his journey across North America opening for much larger acts that pulled into stadiums in their deluxe motor coaches next to his late model VW bus.  Ian and his band did not enjoy the same luxuries since he and his crew did not have a personal driver or a posse of roadies to set up and break down their equipment. I considered sending him M & M’s sorted by color so that he could at least feel like an entitled super rock star brat, but he was never in any one place long enough to get mail. It appears that the hard scrabble life of a rock star sucks.

June 4th Ian and his band, Dirty Penny, will  perform a benefit concert for Haiti at The Catalyst. Sophia’s Red Cross club at her high school organized it. Her friends just about died when they found out Jonny Prynce was our tenant. They were like, “You  know him!!??” I think I’ll send him a bottle of champagne back stage because in my heart and mind, Ian/Jonny is a real star. Download his latest album on iTunes.

Paul’s dad turned 90 on Friday, May 28th. We had a little family party for him and will have a much bigger party on June 20th with a family reunion with all of Paul’s 6 siblings and their families. His actual birthday was low key because another resident in the retirement community where he lives also had a birthday and kind of stole his thunder. She turned 105! There was an article about her in the local paper. Her name is Eula and she used to be  a cowgirl. Her secret to longevity is simple: “Appreciate what you have. Don’t make mountains out of molehills. Sleep with the window open.” Good advice I will follow. Especially the first part. We forget sometimes.