We had a bit of drama at the Shwanda house last week. My daughter Sophia and my husband Paul got into a big argument on Tuesday night over something as innocuous as the TV (he wanted to watch the Olympics and she wanted to watch a reality show) and she just had a hissy fit. She stormed out of the great room, starting slamming things around, claimed she ” JUST CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!” packed her bags and drove across town to go live with her father.  It was not her finest moment and it wasn’t mine either. She screamed some expletives at her step father, which she later came to regret, and I allowed myself to get caught in the middle when I should have been backing up my hubby. I got defensive. I let my “I’m-so-sorry-for-getting-divorced-and-remarried-and-making-you-move-guilt” get in the way of reason. Read the rest of this entry »

Image of pastel sketch of snow scene by Nina.

Here is another photo of my talented sister Nina’s art work. This is the view of a grove of trees at our sister Pam’s house in New Jersey. I am so happy to know that my sister has something to do when she is snowed in. Keep up the great work!

Photo of beach scene sketched in pastels by my sister Nina.

A week or so ago I posted a photo Paul took along Highway 1 (the Pacific Coast Highway) of a rainbow across the sand dunes in Marina, CA, a town about 30 miles south of where we live in Santa Cruz. I labeled the post Let it not snow. My sister Nina, the artist in the family saw it and came up with this pastel sketch. Isn’t it great? She is so talented.

Photo of our cat Zippy taking a snooze. Ahhh. The life.

I took this the other day. I couldn’t resist. I want his life. Doesn’t he look relaxed? That’s pretty much what he does all day. If you have a funny cat picture or funny pet picture, send it to me and I will post it.

Each year for the past seven years, Build-A-Bear Workshop, through its Huggable Heroes program, has searched for and recognized young leaders who make positive contributions in their communities or around the world. This year, ten Huggable Heroes, between the ages of eight and 18, from the United States and Canada, will be selected and honored for their good deeds. Each of the ten Huggable Heroes will receive a prize worth $10,000 ($7,500 in the form of an educational scholarship and $2,500 from the Build-A-Bear Workshop Foundation to be donated to the 501(c)(3) charity of each Huggable Hero’s choice). In addition, the Huggable Heroes will win a trip for themselves and a parent to St. Louis, the home of Build-A-Bear Workshop World Bearquarters. During their visit, the 2010 Huggable Heroes will meet each other, be honored for their good deeds and participate in a photo shoot for the 2011 Build-A-Bear Workshop Huggable Heroes Calendar.

Entries are being accepted here  through February 26, 2010 or by picking up an entry form at a participating Build-A-Bear Workshop store in the United States and Canada.

Here is a link to the electronic press kit with more information on the program and past Huggable Heroes, as well as volunteer tips and ways to help encourage kids to get involved and make a difference:

When I found myself a single mom at 40 with two young daughters, (ages 6 and 9) after 12 years of marriage, to what turned out to be a gay guy, I have to confess that I found myself in a state of total dating anxiety. I hadn’t dated in 15 years and quite frankly I wasn’t sure I remembered how. I was insecure for sure and worried that men would no longer consider me attractive.  I had been a wall flower in high school and then went on to a college where the ratio of men to women was one to eight. And then there was the marriage to the gay guy, so you can see that not only were my dating skills rusty, they had sucked to begin with. Read the rest of this post on Momversation.

A few posts back I  wrote about our aspiring rock star son Mark’s announcement that he was not planning to go to college because he was looking forward to living the hard scrabble life of his rock idol Slash. Last week I had the opportunity to give one of  his band mates a ride home and boy did I learn a lot. The young man told me all about the courses he was taking in school. He is a sophomore and is already tackling AP Calculus. To put things in perspective, that is something seniors usually take as an elective after they have completed Algebra one and two, Geometry and Pre-Calculus. This kid is driven. I asked him what motivates him and he said he needs to take as many AP classes as possible so that he can get a scholarship to college because that is the only way he will be able to go since his parents don’t have the money to send him.  I was impressed.

I dropped him at his house, a modest home in the working class section of town, and made the snap shot assessment that this kid is already living the hard scrabble life. And he wants better. Good for him. He reminded me a lot of myself at that age because I too came from very humble beginnings. I got my first job at 13 in a hotel laundry room and worked my way through high school and college for which I got a scholarship. And I pitched in around the house by cooking and cleaning while my  mother was still at work. In my efforts to give my kids a better life than I had  I wonder if am doing them a disservice by not giving them the hard scrabble life now so that they won’t be craving it later. You tell me. When the boy got out of my car I hollered to him, “Hey, rub some of that college stuff onto Mark. He says he doesn’t want to go.” He replied back with assurance, “He’ll go. He’s just saying that.” I hope he’s right.

Photo of a natural bridge along West Cliff

The kids all have off from school today in honor of President’s Day and they are all at their other parents’ houses. I was working in my home office when Sophia called me to ask if I would like to go for a walk with her on West Cliff Drive. How sweet to be asked. I said, “Sure.” Now that she’s got wheels she drove over to pick me up and we headed down to the beach for a power walk along the ocean. I always enjoy time alone with each of  my kids. And I’m delighted they still want to have anything to do with me.

For all my East coast family and friends who are sending me pictures of it snowing, here are some photos of it not snowing here in Santa Cruz.

Image of rainbow taken along Pacific Coast Highway

Photo of rainbow taken in Marina, CA.

We had a blast of a party today for the Superbowl. We invited all of our favorite people (Hello to C and D if you are reading this.), everyone brought a dish to share (Great pate b-t-w), the kids jumped on the trampoline, played ping pong  and everyone took part in the Superbowl pool. The main attraction, however, was the halftime show and  I don’t mean Roger Daltry and the Who. No. I mean our son, Mark and his newly formed rock band who performed in our carport and they were GREAT. ( I’m sure everyone in the neighborhood thought so too.) Paul and I were beaming with pride.

A few weeks ago Mark came to us and asked if he and his bandmates could practice at our house. We said yes, but so far they haven’t since there has been an issue with the transportation of the drum set. I guess those things aren’t so easy to tote around. In any case, we were delighted to hear them play. Mark often plays in his room and we listen through the door, but this was the first time we heard his band play together.

I have to say it was a relief that they were good, although I should not have been surprised. Mark has a real passion for music. In fact, just last week he revealed to us that he has no plans to go to college and is actually looking forward to “living the hard scrabble life of his rock idol Slash.” Can’t begin to tell you how comforting it was to  hear that. Paul and I  took one look at each other and just laughed. Kids, kids, kids. We sat him down on the couch to lecture him on the benefits of going to college and the downside of the hard scrabble life. We certainly didn’t want to talk him out of his dream, especially since he has so much talent, but we wanted to make him understand that in order for him to be in control of his destiny he has to make the choices instead of having choices thrust upon him. We counseled him to do his  best in high school and when the time comes to decide about college, he will have a lot more options than someone who slacked off.  (His last report card was less than stellar.) If he decides he doesn’t want to go to college then the decision will be his. If he  wants to go to college, but can’t get in because of poor grades, then the decision is not his. I made the analogy that it is like going on a job interview you are not sure you want. Go on the interview, give it your best shot and if they offer you the job, then you get to decide if you want it. I think he understood. His driving privileges have been restricted until he pulls up his grades. He’s a smart kid with his head on straight so we are confident he will make the right choices. As for his musical talent: the kid’s got it. If the girls aren’t beating down his door now, they will be soon. And that will be another on-the-couch conversation for sure.