Mark and Sophia are both driving now and have cars at their disposal. As I’ve mentioned before, this is not only liberating to them, but to us their parents because we no longer have to chauffeur them around and they can drive their siblings around as well. The other component to this whole new teen driving development is that it decreases our (mine and Paul’s) interaction with our ex-spouses. This level of independence for the kids means less contact for us with “the other parent”. The kids can still see all their parents as much as they want now that they have wheels, but we see less of the exes because they are not coming over for drop offs and pick ups.  There’s no more cell phone calls from the driving way as in , “I’m here now get out here.” Whether you have a reasonably friendly relationship with your former spouse, or a less than civil  contentious or acrimonious one with your previous partner, this new freedom can be a godsend. It means you are moving forward and leaving behind your  previously married life. What a relief.

The other benefit is the kids can see their other parents more. Even though we have set custody arrangements, mine and Jared (my ex) have about a 70/30 split and Paul and Susie are about 50/50, we have always had an open door policy. We were all flexible. If a parent was  traveling  on business or holiday or just wanted extra time with the kids no one objected or complained. But… we had to make arrangements for transportation. Now we don’t have to. For instance, two weekends ago I asked my girls to come over to help me with a project while they were spending the weekend with their dad. They stopped by for a few hours (after a trip to Starbucks) and then went back to their dad’s. This weekend is the Lighted Boat Parade in Santa Cruz and even though it is mine and Paul’s  kid free weekend, our teen drivers will be bringing their siblings by if they want to come with us. Now everyone has the best of both worlds.