I watched this and it brought tears to my eyes. I am so proud of Ms. Baxter for her courage, bravery and articulation of a very serious, private and personal issue. Her story reminded me of our own personal story.

Calling all Foodies. I am working as a marketing consultant for my friend Les Cooper who owns Coeur d’Olives, purveyors of fine foods specializing in premium extra virgin olive oils and aged balsamic vinegars with unique flavors like black cherry, pomegranate, tangerine, fig and red apple. The oils are to die for too. I recently made a Southwest style crab cake with chipotle mayonnaise using the chipotle infused oil. If you would like the recipe, sign up for Les’ email list on his Facebook page and we’ll send you our newsletters. My first official promotion is to hold a recipe contest. If you come up with a recipe or serving suggestion using one of Coeur d’Olives products, and we use it in our newsletter and post it on the Coeur d’Olives website, we will send you a free product of your choice. And my fellow bloggers out there, if you announce  this campaign on your site we will send you a free product just for giving us your pitch.

Mark and Sophia are both driving now and have cars at their disposal. As I’ve mentioned before, this is not only liberating to them, but to us their parents because we no longer have to chauffeur them around and they can drive their siblings around as well. The other component to this whole new teen driving development is that it decreases our (mine and Paul’s) interaction with our ex-spouses. This level of independence for the kids means less contact for us with “the other parent”. The kids can still see all their parents as much as they want now that they have wheels, but we see less of the exes because they are not coming over for drop offs and pick ups.  There’s no more cell phone calls from the driving way as in , “I’m here now get out here.” Whether you have a reasonably friendly relationship with your former spouse, or a less than civil  contentious or acrimonious one with your previous partner, this new freedom can be a godsend. It means you are moving forward and leaving behind your  previously married life. What a relief.

The other benefit is the kids can see their other parents more. Even though we have set custody arrangements, mine and Jared (my ex) have about a 70/30 split and Paul and Susie are about 50/50, we have always had an open door policy. We were all flexible. If a parent was  traveling  on business or holiday or just wanted extra time with the kids no one objected or complained. But… we had to make arrangements for transportation. Now we don’t have to. For instance, two weekends ago I asked my girls to come over to help me with a project while they were spending the weekend with their dad. They stopped by for a few hours (after a trip to Starbucks) and then went back to their dad’s. This weekend is the Lighted Boat Parade in Santa Cruz and even though it is mine and Paul’s  kid free weekend, our teen drivers will be bringing their siblings by if they want to come with us. Now everyone has the best of both worlds.

Joel Schwartzberg, my newfound cyber friend  is a divorced dad who is  remarried to a woman who by virtue of  her marriage to him, is now a stepmom. He has written a book The 40-Year-Old Version: Humoirs of a Divorced Dad which I plan to read and review later this week. In the meantime, check out his essay titled What Remarried Dads Owe Their Stepmom Wives that appeared this week on the Huffington Post. If you have ever thought, “Oh my god, what have I gotten myself into?” by all means, read this post. I  have to say his words of wisdom and insight came to me at a time when I needed them the most.

Today is December 1st and in our collection of family traditions this begins the season of advent calendars. Years ago my two girls, Eva and Sophia, received as gifts cross stitched advent calendars from a friend in Germany. Each day, beginning on the first of December and ending on the 24th, Christmas eve, I would always tie a small gift on to the little rings attached to the calendars. The girls always looked forward to it and it helped to prolong and build up the excitement leading to  Christmas. When I married Paul 3 1/2 years ago, (this is our 4th Christmas together) I didn’t want his kids, Cheryl, Mark and Sam to feel left out, but I didn’t have the time to whip up three more cross stitched calendars and I couldn’t find where to buy them, so I made up my own version. I took a long piece of ribbon and sewed 24 rings to it. It is not as elaborate as the ones my girls received, but it serves the same purpose and my stepchildren appreciated the effort and welcomed the new tradition.