Mark turned 16 this past week and we had a family celebration at our house. Paul’s ex, Susie, brought the cake and ice cream. I ordered the sushi at Mark’s request. Susie and I planned the party together in advance, which is what we have been doing now for the past three years, since Mark’s 13th birthday, when he informed me that he would like to celebrate with all of his parents. I facilitated this effort because previous to my coming onto the scene, Paul and Susie celebrated their kids’ birthdays separately from each other.  When I first suggested to Susie that we have a combined party at our house, I think she was surprised at my overture, but she did not resist. At first it was awkward, but we got through it and now it is second nature. We’ve actually gotten into a routine. Since I usually prepare the food and set the table, Susie clears the table and loads the dish washer. I always defer to Susie to cut the cake and I scoop the ice cream. And everyone takes pictures.  It has become a ritual and the new normal for the kids. They’re happy, which makes me happy.