Paul and I have been together for five years, married for three and a half. During that time I would have to say that we have all successfully bonded as a family. I can honestly say that my stepkids love me like a second mother and my youngest daughter Eva has welcomed Paul into her life. The only holdout has been my oldest daughter, Sophia. She has a hard time warming up to people in general, is kind of aloof by nature and definitely does not adapt well to change. She and Paul have had lukewarm relationship in spite of his many attempts to engage her in various activities. (They recently bought windshield wiper blades together, for instance. They’ve bonded over cars.) On some days, Sophia is a veritable chatter box, talking endlessly about the events of the day, but usually only directing her conversation at me, with an occasional glance toward Paul. There are times when he walks into a room and she barely acknowledges him. Paul takes this all in stride. He is a patient and understanding man, but I can tell that there are times when he wishes they could be closer.

And then the other day, something changed. Paul had just returned from a long business trip and we were finishing up dinner. He was standing at the kitchen sink and Sophia got up to put her plate in the dishwasher and completely out of the blue, she reached over to Paul, draped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. They both stood there together, embracing until Sophia pulled away and walked out of the kitchen. Paul and I looked at each other with expressions of shocked delight. We have no idea what precipitated her hug and we didn’t question it. Paul and I were on an emotional high the rest of the night. Sophia’s simple gesture meant the world to both of us. And it only took five years.