I love my auto mechanic. I’ll call him Rod. He’s kind of like a therapist/matchmaker/comedian all rolled into one, with a little social and political commentary thrown in for good measure. He’s most entertaining and always good for a yarn, if not a good laugh and some great advice.

What I love most about Rod is his no holds barred opinions about just about everything. For instance, I took my car in for servicing today and he told me all about how he thinks the world is really going down hill. Take Roman Polanski, who was recently arrested in Switzerland on a U.S. arrest warrant from a 1977 child sex charge. Rod’s take on the matter: “It’s been so long since he did what he did that no one remembers for cares.” Then he complained to me about the “hydroponic” gardeners who front pot farms and he can’t stand working on their cars because they stink so much like dope. And all I can think is, “Does my car need a new starter?” But seriously… some of the best advice I have gotten on divorce, dating and  remarriage has come from Rod.

Both Paul and I had been taking our cars to Rod for years before we met each other. So when we both discovered that we shared the same mechanic and knew someone in common, neither of us  could resist the temptation to run to Rod for a ” reference” if you know what I mean. He told me Paul was  “a great, smart guy” and he told Paul I “was a real go-getter.” When we told him we were getting married, blending our families and remodeling Paul’s house, his suggestion to us was  to “put the kids in another building.” You see, he and his wife have a blended family of four kids and that is what they did. They put the kids in a granny unit on the back of their property. He knows what he is talking about.

My point is… you never know who can help you or shed some light on your situation or give you a perspective that you never thought of or considered.  An auto mechanic is like a bar tender or anyone else in the service industry who meets and deals with a lot of people on a daily basis. They are experts on the study of the human condition. So the next time you have the occasion to talk to someone like Rod, don’t miss the opportunity. You will surprised at what you can learn.

I just had to share this with you. I got this message today on my Facebook page and I have NO IDEA who this person is. I can just picture this person writing this to me through some drunken haze. Yikes. I deleted all identifying information, but her punctuation, spelling and grammar are in tact. Read on.

Would you please just let the grudge that u have against me go. Could u please have a forgiving heart. U know I would never do that to u again, ever. And I don’t care if u are dating jorge. I liked u as a person. Why? Because u are not a snob, and u never let things go to your head. I had a problem . And I know what I did was wrong. And I apologize again for the millionth time. That’s why I live on the big isle. I needed to get my shit together. I was being abused so bad, and I used drugs to self medicate. I wish u could understand that. I would never betray u again. But if u are unwilling to forgive that wouldbe too bad. We could have been great drinking partners. I love my beer. And we could have had so much fun. I hope u have a forgiving heart, and I hope u accept me as a friend. If not, just write back and tell me how u feel. Give me at least that please. Thanks. Hope to hear from u.

I wrote back to her to tell her that I am not dating Jorge and I am happily married to Paul and I really hope she finds peace and forgiveness in her life. And to think… we could have been drinking partners…

Paul and I had a much needed very romantic, relaxing and wonderful weekend. We had both been so stressed between working hard, managing the kids and ruminating over very important decisions  to make regarding our business. We’ve been on overdrive the past few months, usually working on Saturdays, running the kids around and maybe taking a few hours to ourselves on Sunday afternoon, which is not nearly enough time to completely unwind. This past weekend was much different.

On Friday afternoon Paul got a call from his friend Jack who lives in the South Beach section of San Francisco, right near the harbor and the AT&T stadium (formerly PacBell)  where the San Francisco Giants play. He invited us to come up and stay on his boat in the harbor and we impulsively jumped at the chance. We packed an overnight bag (it was a no kid weekend) and by 3PM we were on the road to San Francisco.

The weather was gorgeous. It was the perfect Indian summer evening by the bay. It was just the two of us sitting alone sipping wine on the deck of the boat. We could both feel all of our troubles and worries melting away. We walked around the harbor for a bit, soaking up the atmosphere, smelling the salt air, listening to the sounds of seagulls and boats creaking, and enjoying the beautiful views. We ate dinner at the Acme Chop House, a lovely steak house and pregame hang out. Afterward we walked through Willie Mays Plaza and caught the last three innings of the game. The Giants lost, but we didn’t care.

We slept on the boat, dozing off to its therapeutic rocking and woke early the next morning to beautiful sunshine. Jack and his wife met us for breakfast at a cafe and afterward we drove home.

Saturday afternoon we picked up the kids from  their other parents’ houses and took them to an Oktoberfest we are invited to every year. Friends of ours have a house on a lot of acreage out in the country and they host this giant potluck party every fall. Local bands play and several (I think 13 this year) home beer brewers come to enter the beer tasting contest. The kids all run through the woods and play and when it gets dark they light a huge bonfire and make s’mores. Hundreds of people come to this event. It is really special. Everyone had a great time.

The kids went back to their other parents and Paul and I had Sunday to ourselves. We took a long walk along the ocean and then came home and took a nap. Paul puttered around the yard while I made us a special dinner of leek, bacon and pea risotto. Paul grilled some salmon and I tossed a salad. When I came outside to see what he was doing, I discovered  he had cleaned the outside patio, lit the outdoor fireplace and set up a cafe table in front of it. Candles were lit all around, soft music was playing and  a glass of wine was waiting for me. Perfect.

We reminisced about how we first met 4 1/2 years ago and how we used to spend our kid free weekends like this all the time. Then we got married, remodeled our house, blended our families and started a business and  got sidetracked from focusing on just us and our relationship. At the end of the evening I turned to Paul and said, “I think we got our groove back.” He agreed. We made a vow to each other to have a lot more weekends like this one.

My ears are still ringing and my body is still fibrating from the throbbing beat of the music, but I can say that  I survived my first tweener rock concert. Let’s just say that I enjoyed watching my girls enjoy it. The anticipation leading up to the big event was the best  part for me. I wrote  yesterday that I took the girls shopping downtown to get new outfits. What I forgot to mention was the care they took in helping each other select and accessorise their new outfits. They dressed carefully and put on their makeup. Then we drove up to the HP Pavilion in San Jose listening to Miley’s CD and singing along. We arrived about an hour early, which gave us an hour to wait in line to get Miley tour T-shirts. The place was mobbed. Mostly moms and their daughters. There were a few dads, but overall it was a mother/daughter experience. Eva and Cheryl danced the Hannah Montana Hoe Down Throw Down and they sang along with every song. They are true fans. It was so sweet. I am so glad that I took them. I know this is a memory the girls will keep with them forever. I know I will never forget it.

Tonight is the long awaited night to see the one and only Miley Cyrus in concert at the HP Pavilion in San Jose. Awesome. We can’t wait. I took the girls shopping downtown at Urban Outfitters to find new outfits for the big event. Nothing in their wardrobe would have worked. They each  bought a pretty skirt or dress. I, on the other hand, plan to wear a pair of tan chinos and a white T-shirt because no one cares if I look like a dork. The only thing missing from my outfit is a pair of ear plugs to muffle the sounds coming from the  throngs of tweener girls and their shrieking squeals.

Last Wednesday was Paul’s birthday and we had no kids that night so he and I celebrated alone. All the kids came back on Friday so we decided to have his family party that night. As usual, the children’s excitement and enthusiasm leading up to his party were just darling. Sophia was the leader in the event planning. She made the cake (an ice cream cake), wrapped the presents and all the kids together decorated the cake and made the card. The salutation on the card read: Dear Dad/Paul. After a barbecue dinner, and the unwrapping of presents, we all piled into the Suburban and headed down to the county fair to watch The Blue Oyster Cult perform. They were great. The kids had a blast. They went on rides, Paul and I walked around and looked at the animals and the Really Big Pumpkin exhibit. It was a fun, albeit, tiring family outing and the perfect way to celebrate.

I was most touched by Sophia’s leadership participation in the party planning because of my two daughters, she was the most resistant to the remarriage and the move. She does not adapt well to change. We have all been together three years now, in fact, we moved into our new home on Paul’s birthday, and Sophia has really come around to accepting Paul as her step dad, which I think is probably the best birthday present of all.

Does your significant other read your blog? How does he feel about it? Does knowing he’s reading influence what you write?

One of my cyber step mom friends, Peggy, from The Stepmom’s Tool Box  answered this question on her blog after she read it on two other blogs, La Belle Mere and Steph in the City. I thought I should respond too since just recently Paul told me how much he enjoys reading my blog. As you may already know, he travels quite a bit on business and we are apart 2-3 days a week. He told me while he is away, reading my blog, (particularly all of the wonderful things I write about him) keeps him feeling connected to me. “They are like love letters,” he said. Knowing that, yes,  I would have to say his reading my blog does influence what I write, especially when I want to send him a message, like I did recently in my post “We’re not butter, babe, we’re steel.”

Modern romance at its best.

As I mentioned yesterday, Sophia got her license.  I am now liberated. I called our insurance company today and had her added to our automobile policy. Then I handed her the car keys and asked her to pick up her sister, Eva from school. Then take Mark to his orthodontist appointment. Then take Eva to soccer. Pick up Eva from soccer. Stop at the store on your way home and get me some eggs. Every time I watch her pull out of the driveway I am giddy with joy. What am I going to do with myself now that I am no longer a slave to the after school pick up, drop off, run to soccer/tutor/orthodontist appointment (with five kids in braces, somebody almost always has an orthodontist appointment) music/dance lesson whirl of activity?

I had a glass of wine and made muffins. I read the latest issue of The New Yorker and Martha Stewart. I didn’t rush through making dinner. I took my time. I relaxed. Sigh…

For those of you who were anxious to hear, Paul did finally make it home yesterday after he got stranded at a diner with no gas and no money to pay for his lunch. Thankfully, his business partner was 20 minutes behind him on the same highway and met up with him to pay for his lunch and buy him a tank of gas. Otherwise, I would have had to drive down to meet him.

He was pretty bone-weary and bedraggled when he got home. I had dinner (shrimp scampi) and wine waiting. We sat at our outdoor fireplace and relaxed. He loved the new golf shoes I got him for his birthday.

RECIPE FOR SHRIMP SCAMPI (for two)

Ingredients:

3/4 lb. large shrimp or prawns, peeled and deveined leaving tails on

3 T good olive oil

2 T dry white wine (for drinking and marinating shrimp)

kosher salt and fresh ground pepper

3/4 stick unsalted butter, softened

several gloves minced garlic

1/4 cup minced shallots

3 T  minced fresh parsley

2 tsp. minced fresh rosemary

1/4 tsp. red pepper flakes

1 tsp. grated lemon zest

2 T fresh squeezed lemon juice

1 egg yolk

2/3 cup panko bread crumbs

lemon wedges for garnish

Place shrimp in large bowl and toss with wine, olive oil and dash of kosher salt and pepper.  In a separate bowl, mash the softened butter with the garlic, shallots, parsley, rosemary, red pepper flakes, lemon zest, lemon juice, egg yolk, panko and dash of salt and pepper.

Arrange shrimp in a single, circular layer in a round baking or gratin dish placing the tails in the center of the dish. Pour the remaining marinade over the shrimp and then spread the butter mixture evenly over the shrimp. Bake at 425 degrees for 10-12 minutes. If you like, you can place the dish under the broiler for 1 minute to brown. Be careful to watch though. Don’t want to burn it. Serve with crusty bread.

Hallelujah. (Cue the choir.) Jared, her father, and I, took her to the DMV today and waited while she took her test; confident that she would pull it off and SHE ROCKED!!!! Way to go Sophia. It was a right of passage, not only for her, but for us too. I had flashbacks of watching her take her first steps. My baby. My firstborn. Now a “teen driver”. Where did the time go?