The fourth leg of our trip was spent in Central New Jersey in a town called Middlesex which is where Jared, my ex-husband’s father, Tony lives. My late mother-in-law, whom I adored, passed away about four years ago. She was a lovely woman and a doting grandma. This was my first trip to their house in seven years, which was right around the time Jared and I separated. I had seen both of my in-laws five years ago when they came to my mother’s funeral, but I did not visit their house and it has been years since I had seen Jared’s siblings. My girls were really anxious to see their grandpa so I called him a few months ago when I was planning this trip to see if we could spend a few days with him. I told him I was also bringing my stepchildren with me and he was very receptive to meeting them. He assured me he had plenty of room for all of us.

I really lucked out in the in-law department. They always treated me like a daughter and when Jared and I divorced, my mother-in-law told me, “You’re still one  of us. ” I miss my mother-in-law terribly. She died 10 months after my mother died and I was totally unprepared. She was only 72 and her death was unexpected. I wondered how I would feel walking into her house with her not there. I did not go to her funeral because she died in September just when the kids were starting school, and because of that I never felt like I had closure.

We took the train from Penn Station to Dunellen and Grandpa Tony and Jared’s brother Ken met us at the station. It was a nice surprise to see Ken. He had been waiting for us to arrive. When we got back to the house, Jared’s sister Margie called to say she would be right over. Jared has one sister and four brothers, but only Ken and Margie live nearby. They both stayed late into the evening and we talked for hours. They were very interested in my new life and seemed happy for me. I think they were in some way reassured that Jared and I still have a positive co-parenting relationship. Margie did something very special. She gave each of my girls a pair of my mother-in-law’s earrings. I made a vow to myself to stay in better contact with them in the future. I think they would enjoy receiving photos and letters from the girls.

The next day I took the kids to see the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. It was very weird seeing the New York City skyline without the Twin Towers.  We also went to the Liberty Science Center which was a lot of fun. Later in the evening Sophia and I poured through family photo albums. I was very surprised to see that in one of them my father-in-law saved a Christmas card I had sent him the first year Paul and I were married. It was a collage of photos from our wedding. He saved it. I was very touched. Jared and mine’s wedding photo is off the wall, but my wedding photos with Paul were relegated to a book.

I also looked through my mother-in-law’s recipe boxes. I was looking for her famous Spanish crepe recipe which I did not find. I pulled out all of her other specialties and with Tony’s permission, I kept them. They were in her handwriting and that was my way of preserving a part of her.