As a result of the limited amount of fame and notoriety I have gained from this blog, I have been approached by three different TV production companies to star in a reality TV show with my blended family. (I cannot wait to see who they have finally cast.) At first, I was kind of stoked about the whole thing and I have to confess I was sucked into the potential for fame and money. (This was before the whole Jon and Kate debacle.) We had a family meeting to discuss it and even went so far as to fill out an application. One question was, “What TV show most resembles your family life?” I couldn’t resist and answered “Survivor”.

Truthfully, I thought our life would be kind of boring and I feared that in order to provide grist for the TV gossip mill, they would simply make stuff up. Plus, the kids flat out did not want to do it. Mark, our budding rock star, feared that if he gained fame on a reality TV show, no one would ever take him seriously as an artist. After all, look what happened to Brook Hogan after she was on her dad, Hulk Hogan’s show. And Sophia, our resident cultural elitist, who when I took her to see “The Lion King” on Broadway when she was 8 gave a 10 minute critique of why the costumes simply “did not work for her”,  was worried the TV production values  simply would not meet her standards. 

So we passed on the whole idea and moved on. But not quite.  You see,  I developed a subsequent closet obsession for reality TV. I watched them all. Did you know they have a show about a family of midgets? Oh excuse me, I’m sorry. Little people.  I happened to tune into the episode where the midget dad was in court fighting his DUI. Apparently it wasn’t his first. Another bizarro one is: “Obese and Pregnant.” WHY? And then, the one that takes the reality cake, or should I say Botox: “Celebrity Plastic Surgery that Went Wrong.” I knew I shouldn’t watch, but I just couldn’t help myself. When they showed that actress from “Knots Landing” and her balloon inflated looking lips, I just couldn’t turn away. Sophia walked into the room at this moment and was rightfullly aghast that I was watching such crap. And said so.

“Mom, I can’t believe you are watching this!?” It’s a visual here. Picture the surly smirk.

“But look at her!” I exclaimed in my defense. “She looks like some kind of amphibious creature!”

With that Sophia let out a very disappointed, disgusted-with-me sigh and proclaimed, huffily, “I just want you to know, this is beneath me.” And stormed out.

Well said. It cured my addiction. I’m now back to watching late night Sex and the City reruns.