Here is a a wonderful little book I keep meaning to tell you about. The 312 Best Things About Being a Stepmom: For those days when you can only come up with one or two on your own. by Cynthia Copeland,  is kind of like Chicken Soup for the stepmom soul filled with little gems of wisdom and smart advice compartmentalized into chapters dealing with a variety of situations such as: the stepmom with her own kids, a stepmom without kids, and coming to be a stepmom either through divorce or widowhood.  The author talks about “The Phases of a Step Family” starting with the Brady Bunch/Sound of Music Phase, then The Reality Check Phase, followed by The Crazy/Hazy Days, the Coming Together Phase and finally, the Commitment Phase. So much of what I read in this book mirrored my own experience and has been very helpful for me in finding my own path as a stepmom. For instance, in the Chapter title 10 Secrets of Happy Stepmothers, she advises new stepmoms to be more like an aunt rather than  a stepmom. Let your husband do all the disciplining and rule enforcement. Another pearl: Give yourself permission to not love them right away.

Paul and I both enjoy this book  and have developed an unspoken ritual for sharing it with each other.  I keep the book on my night stand and periodically we will both skim through the book, find a passage we want both liked and then keep the book open to that page so the other can find it and read it later.