I couldn’t stand my kids last week and I couldn’t wait for them to grow up and move out of the house. Oh my god, did  I just say that out loud? I don’t know whether is was the jelly beans in the couch or the gum in the garbage disposal, but something just sent me over the edge  and I just knew I had to GET OUT OF TOWN!!! So Paul and I went on a “business trip” to Santa Barbara and L. A.   We have a lot of clients there and usually Paul goes on trips alone while I hold down the fort here at home, but this time I told him, “Take me with you. You aren’t leaving me here alone.” The best benefit of divorce is that our children have other parents with whom they can stay so we can take off for  few days to recharge and refresh our marriage and get reacquainted with each other. I highly recommend it.

We were gone for four days and it was heaven. It was so nice to be alone without the kids. We took them skiing over spring break last week and had a blast, but it wasn’t until we got away without them that we realized how much we really needed the time alone. We so enjoy each other. We had business to attend to and that all went great. For those of you who are new to my blog, Paul  started a solar thermal radiant hydronic heating business together with his business partner George, shortly after we first met almost three years ago. You can read more about it in Yours, Mine and Ours. It is our baby as I am also a partner in the business and the company’s marketing director.  It is one of the best businesses to be in right now since alternative energy is in such demand. We live on the Central Coast of California, but Paul gets lots of calls, many from “eco” conscious clients in L.A. who want to go solar, so he travels there several times a month. Occasionally I get to go with him and this past week was one of those times.  For us, working together works.  We work hard, and then we relax…

One of the many things I love about Paul is that he knows how to have fun. He shares himself with me in every way. We dined in fine restaurants, we went wine tasting, walked down the Santa Barbara pier and along the harbor and sat in the Harbor View Inn hot tub by moonlight. It all sounds great, but I would like to share with you  my most memorable “take away” moment of the trip. One evening we were having dinner with one of our favorite clients at the very exclusive Manhattan Beach country club when I excused myself to use the ladies’ room.  Both of the stalls were occupied so I  waited my turn. A few minutes later an elderly man, probably in his 80′s, stepped out of one of the stalls. He seemed a bit addled and immediately turned to me and said, “I’m so sorry to have inconvenienced you. “   He motioned to the handicapped stall and told me, “I’m with her. “  I replied, “You haven’t inconvenienced me at all.”  He then went into the handicapped stall to attend to his wife and I could hear their conversation. This is what they said.

Him: “How are you, my dear?”

Her: “I’m OK but I could use a boost.”

Him: “OK my dear. Let me help you.”

Her: ” They really should make these things higher. They are so difficult to get in and out of. ”

Him: ” I know dear. I agree.”

With that I felt I had to leave. I did not want to invade their privacy. I finished my business and left before they came out.  I never saw them again, but I will always remember the tenderness in which that man spoke to his wife. He took care of her lovingly and without resentment. She wasn’t a burden to him. It was so evident that he loved her.

Later I told Paul the story and he was as moved by it as I was. I asked him, “When I get old will you take care of me that way?”

“You bet.”  He assured me. And I know that he will love me and take care of me always —  no matter what.