As a mother of two daughters and as a step mom to two sons and a daughter, I have always been very concerned about treating all of my children equally and fairly, even though I know that this is not always possible. How do I know that this is not always possible? Because my own mother, a parent to five children herself, told me so. She said, “Sometimes you have to give more attention to some of your children because they need it more.” True. Read more.

I recently wrote a post titled, How Did I Know?,  which answers  the frequently asked questions I often hear about how I knew that I wanted to marry Paul, and how I knew that we could blend our families. However, before I got to the point of remarriage,  I first had to heal and recover from my divorce. Since many of my readers have asked me about that, I would  like to share with you what  enduring a divorce was like for me, how I recovered, and how I moved on.   Although I pride myself on surviving the travesty of divorce without getting a nose ring, a tattoo or a boob job, I can tell you from personal experience  it was no easy task. Read the rest of this entry »

Prawn Cakes

I got this recipe from a cookbook I compiled for a fundraiser I did for my kids’ school a few years ago.  This recipe seems a bit odd, but I assure you, it was delicious and Paul told me it was a keeper. Read the rest of this entry »

People, mostly women who write to me, ask me, “How did you know that Paul was the one for you? ” And more precisely, “How did you know that you could do it? That you could get married and blend your families?”  Good question. When I met Paul I was 43.  No spring chicken, (although I’d like to think that I still looked fabulous), and I had been around the block more than a few times. Let’s just say I had taken quite a few  laps. I knew what I wanted and figured when I found it I would know. And I did. There were a lot of little events that led up to the big one that told me, no, shouted to me, “Marry this man!”.  So let me recount the details. Read the rest of this entry »

I got tickets for Paul and me to take Mark and a friend to see ACDC. At the last minute I bailed and gave my ticket to Ian, our rock star tenant, because, dare I say this: I hate rock ‘n’ roll.  I am very embarrassed by this. Read the rest of this entry »

Today’s post if from guest blogger,  Vanessa Van Petten, the teen author of the parenting book “You’re Grounded!” She writes a parenting blog along with 12 other teen writers from the kid’s perspective to help parents.  Her work as a young family peacemaker has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Teen Vogue, Fox 5, CBS 4 and much more!

http://www.RadicalParenting.com

WHAT BEING A STEP CHILD IS LIKE

My parents divorced when I was 4 and both remarried within two years.  When they both remarried I got lots of new things: Read the rest of this entry »

I miss my children being young and I miss being young with them. I have age spots. Some of my parts are wearing out and starting to sag.  I used to scoff at the aging process by reassuring  myself, “I won’t mind looking old so long as I don’t feel old.” I was delusional. Getting old sucks. I’d have a midlife crisis about this if I had time.  My second greatest fear after  getting and feeling old is becoming a cliche, like an aging movie star with way too much “work”. I am here to tell you that the  alternative to getting old is dying young, and that sucks more. Read the rest of this entry »

As you may already know, Carol Shwanda is not my real name. My husband and I decided to use a pseudonym to protect our family’s privacy. I feel I must make the disclaimer since it has been called to my attention that if you Google ‘Shwanda’,  a photo of a young college gal in her dorm room comes up with a  close up of her ass in thong. That’s not me. Just so you know.

Meg Whitman recently announced that she is running for governor of California. For those of you who don’t know who she is, Ms. Whitman is a retired CEO of EBay, that multi-billion dollar on-line auction site that was created so people could have a place to sell their collections of PEZ dispensers. I applaud her success and that of other women like her. They inspire me  to explore my own accomplishments and take stock in all of my great qualities. For the benefit of myself and for those of you who would like to read them, I would like to share with you the top 10 reasons why I think I am fabulous. Read the rest of this entry »

A few months ago there was a cartoon in the New Yorker with a drawing of a physician and a patient in an examining room. The doctor is dancing and flailing his arms in front of his patient in a “funky” way and presumably “painful” manner with a caption that reads: “Do you find it painful when I get funky?” I cut it out and posted in on my refrigerator. That doctor could have been me. Read the rest of this entry »