shwanda

Today was a big deal in our blended household. We are finally unpacked!!! For the last two years we have been looking for things that I was almost ready to give up on. For the umpteenth time,  Paul and the boys (my heros) went out into the storage room with flashlights and didn’t come out until they found a box marked “kitchen bakeware”.    It was wedged between the snow gear and the Christmas decorations. Cookie sheets, bundt pans, muffin tins and rolling pins were all in that box. I didn’t want to go buy anymore because I knew I had them somewhere.  My girls also went through boxes that were marked from their bedrooms. Not surprisingly they got rid of mostly everything that was in them. We found our quarter collection. Yeah! And some half-melted candles. Why did I pack that stuff? We lived without a lot of stuff for two years and we survived. Except I really missed my bakeware.

Another significant turning point  was Sophia’s decision to give up her purple bookcase. Of all the kids, she had the hardest time adapting to the move. She kept that bookcase even though it didn’t fit in her new room because it reminded her of her old room. Today, out of the blue, she told me, “Mom, this bookcase doesn’t go with my room. I want to get rid of it.” I said, “OK.”  We emptied it (giving a lot of stuff to Goodwill) and  put in out on the front curb with a sign that said, “FREE”. Time heals and eveyone adapts to change eventually.  

In other news, yesterday was soccer day. All three girls had games. My two, Sophia and Eva, had back-to-back games in the morning at 9:00 and at 10:30 at the same field. Cheryl, Paul’s daughter, had a game at 1:30 at a different field. I am mentioning this because I want to comment on the differences between the kind of relationship I have with my ex-husband, an easy going, kind-hearted, happy man and Paul’s relationship with his ex-wife who often seems uncomfortable around us.  My ex met me at the soccer field  and we sat together and had nice conversation about the recent election, books we’re reading, our jobs etc. After the games were over, we all went out for bagels at our usual spot. It was always our routine, before and after our divorce, to take the girls to the bagel store.

Later, Eva and Sophia said they wanted to go to Cheryl’s game so we drove over to her game and met up with Paul who was sitting with a group of other parents from Cheryl’s team. About a half-hour into the game, Paul’s ex showed up. I saw her and said “hello”. She mumbled “hello” back and walked to the opposite end of the field where she sat alone for the rest of the game. When the game was over she hung in the background waiting for Cheryl to come off the field, hugged her goodbye and left, never saying anything to Paul or me or the other parents we were sitting with. She deliberately and purposefully alienated and excluded herself. She was more than welcome to join us and could have had fun being a part of our cheering section, but instead she chose to sit alone.  I guess that is her choice, but I wonder if she realized the  unnecessary tension that created for Cheryl. 

On that note, I am off to make banana muffins with my newly found muffin tins!!