Today is our anniversary. But not really. We actually officially got married on April 25th, that is legally. We eloped. But today marks the 4th anniversary of our public family blending ceremony and we are alone. We’re going out to dinner. I can’t believe it has been four years already. In some ways it feels like 14 years. We’ve accomplished a lot except the house is still not finished!!&(*#$@@$!!!  I have slowly come to realize that it never will. I guess life is just one long work in progress.

A few weeks ago, Sophia came to me and asked me if she and her friend, Rita could drive to San Francisco, which is 75 miles North of Santa Cruz, to spend the day at Golden Gate Park to picnic and visit some museums. It was Memorial Day weekend and they were looking for an adventure. She and her friend are both 17, actually Sophia was 16 at the time, and I thought about it for a few minutes and said “no.” As in, “no way.” It’s not that I didn’t trust her, I  was afraid of the holiday traffic and that they were not experienced enough to drive there by themselves. Sophia’s friend ending up going with her younger sister, Maria, 14 and they had a great time. No accidents or mishaps, no flat tires, no tragedies. Read the rest of this entry »

After a long day at work yesterday I decided to go to the club and work out. I hurriedly changed into my gym clothes, threw some cash on the kitchen counter and asked Sophia to go to the grocery store to get us something for dinner as I raced out the door. Ninety minutes later I returned home welcomed by  the mouth watering smell of homemade pizza wafting through the house and the sight of Sophia, Mark, Eva and Cheryl hovering around the stove. I walked in the door just as the kids were taking the pie out of the oven. Eva saw me first and exclaimed, “Mom, you gotta take a look at  this masterpiece!” And a masterpiece it  was. Gorgeous. They were so proud of themselves. Each kid had a role. Sophia made the crust, Cheryl and Eva layered the sauce and cheese and Mark made the salad. What a team and what great kids I have. It was cause for celebration. Eva broke out the bottle of sparkling apple cider she had been saving from last week that  the orthodontist gave  her when she got her braces off. It was a joyful event. I love summer.

I took Eva and her BFF, Jill, to see Justin Bieber in concert last Saturday night in Oakland. Jill’s mom Susie came too. For those of you not up to speed, we used to live two doors down from Jill and Susie before I married Paul and we moved way across town, a whopping five minutes away. But when you are  little and used to scurrying over to each other’s house in your pajamas, it may as well have been five hours away. (If the truth be told, Susie and I were traumatized as well because we too missed the convenience of living so close. I was always hitting her up for some wine and she often came over to my house, coffee cup in hand, looking for some cream. One morning Susie actually brought down a piece of bread, smeared some mayonnaise on it, and walked back to her house. Those were the days.)

It was a heart break for both Eva and Jill to not live so close to each other. Eva does not remember a time when they were not friends. They met when they were three. I have photos of them dressed in their Madeline costumes selling lemonade in the front yard.  It is amazing how close these two girls are and probably always will be. Their friendship has survived not only our move, but the test of middle school. Now they are both 14, starting high school in the fall and IN LOVE with Justin Bieber. Susie and I gave the girls the tickets as a gift for their 8th grade graduation. We took them out to dinner first and while they went into the concert to watch the opening acts we waited in line to buy T-shirts. I enjoyed spoiling my daughter this way. I used to worry that she was the neglected middle child … but not anymore. As we were leaving the concert, (after 3 1/2 hours of shrieking and squealing) Eva put her arms around me, squeezed me hard and proclaimed, “This was the greatest night of my life. Thanks, Mom.” I swooned with Mommy glee.

I took a much needed break yesterday evening to swim some laps. We joined a private swim club for the summer and I am really enjoying working out in the fitness center and relaxing by the pool. I often go at the end of the day so I can unwind and decompress. Last night Paul was working late in San Francisco and the kids were at their other parents’ houses, so I took advantage of my alone time. Read the rest of this entry »

Now that school is out, my girls, Eva and Sophia, have a lot more free time on their hands. They have complained of a little bit of boredom so later this week we plan to hit the beach, catch a movie and maybe drive south to Monterey to visit the aquarium. We also plan to make sand candles and beach beads (made with sand) that will appear in videos later this week on my blogs SeaweedArt and JustImaginate.

In the meantime, the girls have been cooking up a storm. They have made dinner the last two nights and are enjoying thumbing through my cookbooks looking for new recipes to try. Then they go to the store to get the ingredients. They shop, the cook and clean up afterward. Here some photos of their recent masterpieces, lemon cake with marzipan frosting, homemade pizza and potato eggplant curry.

Do you know what today is? OK. I’ll tell you. It is 11 days until the JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT!!!!!! I am taking Eva as her 8th graduation gift. And… it is 2 more days until she gets her braces off. I’m not sure which is the more life changing experience. Aaaah… To be 14 again.

Today finally feels like the first real day of summer for me. June was such hectic month with Eva’s graduation, birthday parties, the end of school and the big family reunion. Just as our house guests were departing, I too got on a plane to Florida for a week long business trip and Eva and Sophia took off for a trip with their dad to the East Coast. Now that we are all back I feel like we can settle in and relax.

The kids were still asleep at noon today  when I left the house to go get my hair done. When I returned two hours later, Paul had put all of them to work  in the yard. In his words he had “organized his work crew.” They were weeding, removing mulch and cleaning out flower beds. Surprisingly, they were fairly good natured about it. When they were finished, the yard looked great. I made them some lunch and all  five kids sat at the kitchen counter eating, talking and laughing. They were working together, cooperating and seeming to have a good time as well. They were taking pride in their home which pleased me immensely.

This put me in a nesting mood so I made some soup. Paul cleaned out the freezer last night and found a ham bone stashed inside and I hunted around in the back of the cupboard for some dried beans I knew were in there. I threw it all  in a pot of water and let it simmer all afternoon and the smells are still wafting through the house. Yum.

Later in the evening, I asked Sophia if she would like to make brownies with me and she replied, “How about we make Mud Puddle cake instead?”  Great suggestion since Mud Puddle cake is much less fattening and super easy to make. I used to make it all the time when my girls were small because you can mix all the ingredients in one pan and the kids can stir ’til their hearts are content. It’s dairy free too. For a recipe of my Muddle Puddle cake click on my Just Imaginate blog. (Scroll down the page, it’s the 5th recipe down.)

I better go check and see if it’s ready.

Yesterday marked the halfway point in my master’s degree program. I am ecstatic that I have made it this far. Whew! So far so good. I have done extremely well  and I am learning so much and loving every minute of it. Because it is a year round program, I don’t get much time off. I have a vacation this coming week and Paul and I are taking the kids down south to Huntington Beach to stay with Paul’s sister for a long July 4th weekend. We plan to check out some colleges for Sophia. The kids are all excited. It will be nice to get away and spend some family time together.

This past week marked two great family gathering events in the Shwanda household.  Paul’s brother and five sisters all flew or drove into Santa Cruz (from as far away as Alabama and Ohio) for a family reunion  to celebrate Pop Pop’s 90th birthday. In addition, my ex-husband, Jared, took our two daughters, Sophia and Eva, to his niece’s wedding in New Jersey. Sophia and Eva got to spend the first part of the week with their step dad’s family and the second part of the week with their dad’s family. (Jared’s family is also rather large in that he has one sister and four brothers.)

It was a fun filled, busy and joyful occasion filled with lots of activities during the day with  surfing, sailing and  kayaking, and in the evenings at each other’s homes playing charades, board games and reminiscing over old photos of Pop Pop in the army and on his wedding day. Those were the moments when I looked at my girls blending in with their “step” aunts, uncles and cousins, enjoying themselves and feeling included, even though they don’t share the same heritage, history or genealogy. After Sophia and Eva left for the wedding in New Jersey, where I heard reports that they ripped up the dance floor with their East coast cousins, we had one final big party at our house on the last day of the reunion.

I had planned a menu of grilled chicken kabobs, homemade potato salad and coleslaw. It was  a pot luck and everyone brought their contribution. Paul’s older brother decided he wanted the family to take a trip down memory lane and asked his wife to prepare “bun burgers,” a dish their mother made for them as children. It stirred some fond and not so fond memories. (Apparently not everyone liked the bun burgers.) I didn’t quite get the recipe, but I watched them being prepared. Basically, you prepare ground beef like you are making hamburgers. Throw in some spices and some chopped onions, but instead of adding bread crumbs, pick out the bread from the tops of hamburger buns, which leaves a big O, tear it into pieces and add to the mix. The top of the bun is placed on the bottom half of the bun and then on a cookie sheet. Next, scoop up a  generous dollop of hamburger meat and place inside the opening of the top bun. Bake in the oven at 400 degrees and just before they are done, top with strips, in an X shape, of Kraft processed American cheese. Place back in oven until melted.

I have to say they were pretty darn good and could easily be adapted to something healthy and rather gourmet if using, say, ground turkey, whole wheat buns and  perhaps some goat cheese, instead of the fatty beef and fake cheese. The culinary nostalgia didn’t end there. No. There were fish sticks too! You know, the frozen kind that comes in a box with lots of fillers and mystery ingredients. They were a  once-a-week staple in Paul’s family’s house. Paul’s brother felt that no family reunion was complete without fish sticks and bun burgers. As we were standing around the kitchen, noshing on the retro delicacies, he lamented, “Too bad we don’t have fake milk to go with them.” Anyone who grew up in a large, budget stretching family in the 50’s and 60’s would know what fake milk is. I do. My mom used to take powdered milk, mix it with water and add it to the real milk to make it last a little longer. It was gross, but we accepted it because that’s just the way it was.

As Paul’s family reminisced about their childhood memories, I reflected on my own (I’m one of five kids.) and realized that big families are pretty much the same.  It isn’t just the food, the family vacations, the sibling squabbles and competition for the bathroom that they have in common, but rather the inherent bonds, life lessons and experiences that go with the territory. I’ve always said being part of a big family prepares you for life’s greatest challenges: To be able to get along with anyone, to know how to wait your turn, to accept delayed gratification and to tolerate things that can at times be somewhat unpleasant.

My thoughts wandered to the future as I pictured myself at Sophia’s or Eva’s wedding and imagined all the guests who would attend.  There would be my family, Jared’s family and  Paul’s. It would be  a blended family wedding… and one hell of a party.